Christmas STI gift from darling OH

[LemonDr1zzleCake]

For the past few weeks I've had what I thought were friction burns down below, after jogging / Zumba and even sex. Was using sudocreme but it didn't really help. Then I thought maybe it's contact dermatitis from the sudocreme.

Googled a few photos and I'm almost 100% sure I have HSV2 I've never even had a cold sore! Been married and faithful to my husband for almost 25yrs and only one prior partner at school age 16 (both of us virgins for sure) Husband says I'm his only partner.
I know I'm not lying. My husband, well, he has been abusive before and goes through extreme mood swings. Two years ago I found half a pack of viagra in his briefcase and he swears blind he took it with me and I agreed to it (I didn't and I'm damned sure he didn't take it with me because he never lasts that long). He changed his story and says I was asleep when he took it

Long story short, I'm working up the courage to visit the Communicable Disease Center and get tested. Where we live, he will know I've been there because he is my sponsor and receives a text message when I use my bank card or health insurance. Maybe I should visit the gynae instead? And what the fuck do I do when it turns out he's given me an STI?

If I confront him, he will outright lie. He will accuse me because my DH is 'never wrong'

I don't even care if he's fucking other women. I got over that two years ago and have accepted that I'm married to a narcissist (been through all that discovery and pain and living with it. Best thing is I know it's not my fault anymore! Yay!)

Sorry if I sound so cold. I've been through shit with my OH and I'm one of those women who's trapped in an abusive marriage. I deal with it my own way and keep my kids protected as best I can.

Till now it's never been possible to prove he's cheated on me. He's a Man of God and a regular where we worship (if only they knew).

How do I persuade him to take an STI screen?

I'm so fucking angry that he's put me at risk I'm not even thinking of other diseases. Too numb to even process this latest crap

I'm sorry OP. But Jeez ANOTHER ONE who had kids and moved to a bonkers Middle Eastern country with an abusive twat.

I do feel sorry for you, Lemon but things aren't always what they seem; the first - and urgent - thing you must do is go to a gynaecologist and check what it is that is wrong.

Omashu Mon 23-Dec-19 07:49:02
From what I’ve heard, you can have genital herpes with no symptoms for a long time! It’s possible you have had it since before you met. I could be wrong though... I’m not sure you’d not show any symptoms for 25 years..
......
That is possible. Genital herpes is only really a problem if it is active when someone is pregnant - if that happens, generally a C section is performed. I'm not sure but I think nowadays pregnant women are tested for the herpes virus because it often isn't visible.

Oh well done, I've seen you've made an appointment. At least after that you'll know what you're dealing with. If it isn't an STI you're back to the drawing board.

Well done for going to get it op, and it's awful you're literally trapped:(

I was told by three people i had herpes. I don't. I have Behçet's, which has genital ulcers.

How old are you? have you looked at images for Lichen Sclerosus?

I didn't even realise they has such Centres in the Middle East as there is a stigma with STIs and fear of reporting .How strange .

If you are where I think you are then you would be better to go through your Gynae.

It may not be HSV2, I get HSV1 down there even though it's the kind people get on thier face. If you have had oral sex with your husband that's most likely where you have got it from. You can have HSV present in your system for years before an outbreak. You are doing the best thing by getting checked out ASAP as the virus may not be picked up by swabs if the sores have begun to heal. Then again it could be that he is shagging about.

I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a shitty time, I hope you find a way to leave your awful H soon.

Are you British? Can you find any way to get back over here? You shouldn’t stay with this man. Pretend you’re visiting family. Why would you stay in a life like this!!

Sorry to sound unsympathetic but what possessed you to go and live in the middle east with no income employment and no freedom.

It may or may not be STI, but good to get it checked out. Good luck.

@PollyPelargonium52 you do sound quite unsympathetic. Seems to me that the OP feels bad enough about her marriage and the situation in which she finds herself without an internet stranger making her feel worse. How would you feel if someone said that to you in similar circumstances?

OP I hope you manage to sort things out. 💐

I wouldn’t hide it from him, let him know you are going to the doctors as you have sores.

I had the same when I was with my last partner, I didn’t think at first that it was a STI as I trusted him completely, I even let him have a look down there to see if there were any blisters/sores and he didn’t show any signs of worry or guilt. It turned out he had cheated with several people, one being a girl that was known for sleeping around. I had several more outbreaks after but haven’t had any for a year or 2.

Hope your check up goes ok and it’s not a STI.

Thank you for all your kindness

My appointment is tomorrow and I'm going to request a full screen and gynae exam because I've also been having spotting for a while and bleeding after sex, which I put down to my age (45) and now know is a strong sign of STI

To answer other questions, I love living in the Middle East! It's a wonderful, lively country and much safer than London. Our kids love it too, and are teenagers enjoying active social lives. My husband works for the government and is a very powerful man.

I will confront him once the test results are back. Damned sure I have HSV2, possibly something else too (the bastard OH).

Feeling more hopeful after reading your replies, a little less bleak anyhow

Good luck remember you have done nothing wrong and I'f anything comes up in his card tell him you have been having pains so they were testing you for thrush and till be testing for other things as a matter of course...

My husband works for the government and is a very powerful man in that case you will know that the internet there is censored and monitored so beware.

Very powerful man 🙄

I hope you can get treatment. Perhaps you can negotiate no more sex seeing as though he can't stay faithful it seems.

Hi OP, your symptoms could be indicative of things other than STIs.

At 45 you could be entering menopause and fluctuating hormones - reduced estrogen etc - can cause vaginal dryness leading to bleeding after sex and spotting, or there’s endometriosis. Thrush could be causing the rash you are getting. If you haven’t been getting smear tests it might be a good idea to request one.

Given what you’ve said about your husband, you might want to approach it from this angle, with STI testing just to rule that out.

I hope it goes well for you.

How are you ?

Hope your appointment went ok x

How are things OP?

Any update on the results of your appointment?? Hope you are Ok! X