Husband recorded me without my knowledge

[ItsNotGravyBaby]

Last night I got pretty drunk at my work Christmas party which is unusual for me (last time I was drunk was years ago). DH picked me up in the early hours and took me home. He had to help me get in the house, up the stairs and in bed which took about 10 minutes (I'm absolutely mortified, this is not like me!)

This morning I woke up (unsurprisingly) with a hangover, and DH and I had a giggle and chat about the events the night before. He then told me he had recorded on my phone the debacle of me getting up the stairs and in bed as he thought I might find it funny to watch the next day. I watched it, thought it was equally funny and embarrassing and initially forgot about it. Now I'm not so sure how I feel about my DH recording me without my knowledge, even if it was on my phone.

My DB came round today for dinner and my drunkenness came up in conversation. I showed him a bit of the video (not usual for us, we're really close) and we all laughed about it, but then DH volunteered a few other embarrassing details about how he had to help me get in the car, take shoes off etc, that I thought were unnecessary. He didn't do it in a mocking or derogatory way but I just didn't see the point of adding further details that only added to my embarrassment.

He knows my feelings have changed and has apologised but I'm still processing how I feel about all of this and want to know how others would feel/think in a similar situation? I feel a bit violated but don't know if I'm overreacting.

I thought this was going to be something different to be honest. Not worth falling out over, I get you are feeling a little embarrassed though.

I think you are pushing your embarrassment at your own behaviour on to dissatisfaction with your husband. YABU

Same. It’s not exactly invasive.

YABU and ridiculous.

I think you are overreacting. He recorded you on your phone. It's not like he plans to keep it, use it against you, plaster it on social media or anything. He saw you were very drunk and out of character and decided on the spur of the moment to film it as a funny thing to show you. Very normal I think.

I tend to get very anxious and depressed after drinking any alcohol now, which never used to happen to me. I get very worried about, well, everything. I feel weird for a good 2 or 3 days. I'd wait it out and see if you still feel so off about it in a couple of days. And delete the video in the meantime. If after a bit of time you still feel shit, just tell him - it's not his fault but it actually made you uncomfortable so can be not do it again. Done. It doesn't sound from your OP like he meant any harm.

What panicover said

YABU absolutely ridiculous.

Over reaction

Your embarrassed that's all - don't take it out on DH - if I were him I'd think you were being a right miserable killjoy 🤣

Get a grip and lighten up! It's hilarious!

I thought you were going to say he’d secretly recorded you having sex. You’re overreacting

You’ve got the beer fear , he did nothing wrong

Typical hangover feelings. Delete it and move on.

I agree, you're just embarrassed.
You can't laugh at yourself then be angry at him for joining in.

Yeah you’re overreacting

He recorded it on your phone to give you a laugh. Laugh and move on

Serious? YABU

I always record my DH when he is too drunk.

He hasn’t done it to me as I’m really good with drink.

I can’t believe you’re annoyed at this

I’m surprised he even apologised. You should apologise to him for over reacting.

On a serious note, do you often find yourself too serious in your relationship?

Thanks for the replies. Someone mentioned feeling weird after drinking and I think that's spot on how I feel. I'm still slightly hungover and not used to this feeling (actually I bloody hate it) so clearly not at my most rational. Thanks for giving my head a wobble!

I think you've had some terrible replies. Its no one else's job to police how you feel, nothing said on this thread has been helpful or constructive, and if you had revealed personal details about something he did I think people would be jumping on you.

You don't feel comfortable about being filmed without your knowledge or consent, or about having details shared. Thats not unreasonable. Point is what do you do with it.

"Point is what do you do with it."

You say 'I've realised that I don't actually like that you filmed me, please don't do that again' and he doesn't, and that's the end of that.

His motives were decent, he told you about it, it was on your phone, it was you who showed someone else not him (which implied that you were ok about it all IMO).

This would be a non issue for me. It’s just a bit of a laugh. Think you’re over reacting to be honest.

Welldone OP!

YABU

Honestly I don’t think this is anything to be worried about! Laugh it off!!