Relationship problems after baby

[LGMH]

Me and my partner have only been together for 1 1/2 years and we got pregnant (unintentionally) at the start of the year. When we first met it was love at first sight I couldn't believe how amazing he was and how he made me laugh being with him was so easy and comfortable. We talked about having children in the future and we both wanted that however it's came sooner than planned. I only discovered I was pregnant at 27weeks, so we only had 10 weeks to prepare for this massive change.
As soon as our son was born my partner has changed in a big way, he gets angry more and is quick to snap at the smallest thing.
I feel that he holds a resentment towards my family and it's starting to make me feel uncomfortable when I ask them to come over. We have had numerous arguments about my family coming to visit while I was in hospital after the birth and he cannot let it go.
He has started to mock my sister to the point it upsets me that he can be do disrespectful to people who have done nothing but help us over the last few months.
I completely understand that families are different and people can get on your nerves at times, however I would never say anything half as bad about his family and even when I tell him it upsets me when he talks about them it's ignored and he says the same things anytime we argue.
I feel torn between my family and my partner as he says he feels like an outsider when they are here...he's never been that way before we had our son. We used to visit my parents a lot and stay for weekends and go out with them for dinner or lunches and he always said he loved being with them.
My wee one is only 7 weeks old so I still get emotional, I was having one of those days today where I felt I couldn't do anything right and was exhausted from not sleeping. I cry at the smallest of things today it was getting m y hair cut...it's well overdue! I asked my mum if she will babysit for me while I go get my hair cut, I will be away for 1 hour max and my partner stats to imply that my mum will harm our baby while I'm away...he doesn't see how this sort of comment is upsetting to me. I would never suggest that about his family.
I hope that this is just him adjusting to parent hood and I won't always feel that I have to choose between the two sides.
Has anyone else had this problem and if so please help ??

Why can't the baby stay with him.?

Don't allow him to isolate you from your family. Call his bluff, tell him you're arranging a family meeting to discuss him feeling left out. Then watch him backtrack.

If all else fails, tell him to fuck along.

Having a baby is like setting off a grenade in your relationship. That’s how it was described by a midwife when I was first pregnant.

But

Abusers will often wait til the mother is pregnant or with a baby to start their control and midwives are trained in Aus to spot it and help. Could be here too but unsure.

This is not sounding like two tired and stress people coping with a new baby.

This sounds like he is trying to isolate you from your support network.

In this case, choose your family.

How often is your family coming over? It’s difficult to work out if he’s being horrible or whether actually you have your family in and out most days and a lot and he’s finding that hard (most people on here would hate their mother in law constantly visiting for example).

It's all happened very quickly and this is a huge adjustment for both of you.

Maybe he's hurt that you asked your mum not him? He feels you don't trust him with the baby? It's fab that your family is helping with the baby, but it's also important that the three of you bond together as a family.

Of course he shouldn't say rude horrible things about your family. But rather than arguing about it, can you try to get to the bottom of what is really bothering him?

Keep talking to him OP. This is a difficult time for both of you. Try to approach it as a partnership.

Attention problems! He is trying to talk bad about your family, making conflict. So your attention goes back to him . He is trying to make everyone bad, and making himself to be a good guy. It's about him. Not you.

Hello op please be carefull my ex was like this when I had my first baby I knew what he was doing but was too stupid to leave. it started just how your saying your partner is now then my ex started getting worse he was insuling and abusing me I stayed with him for 17 years and had 5 children he made me belive I was worthless and I would never be ok on my own I have been with my current partner 8 years and have a 5 year old ds and a 3 week old dd with him and I can honestly say he's fantastic please talk to your family and leave him before he turns on you or your beautiful baby

I see my family once of twice a week sometime they are here and sometimes I go visit them. My partner has not been to my parents house since our son was born.

I asked my mum to babysit as my partner is working.
He never insults me and he tells me all the time that I'm a good mum and he loves me and our family.
When my parents are here he's nice to them and is always joking with them but once we start to argue that's when the resentment starts.
I think it goes back to when we were in hospital after the birth and a few members of my extended family visited and it may have been overwhelming for him but we cannot change what happened in the past and I feel he is letting it ruin our future.
It hurts my feelings because I love spending time with his family and he used to love spending time with my family but now it leads to a lot of arguments.
I don't know if it is him coping with becoming a dad and is being over protective but he was never an angry person before, he was so kind gentle and laid back that's what made me fall in love with him
I've asked before about going to talk to a couples councilor to talk about our issues with someone professional but he shot me down and said I was insulting him at the idea he needed help.

If that was his answer to your couple counselling suggestion then I think you need to look at ending it.

Or at least refuse to continue. The relationship until he does.

That is concerning.

Gosh, these are the same excuses I have made. Because he is calm now you feel you have to give extra effort and everything is ok. But it will happen again.