Don't know what to think

[ConfusedThoughts]

So I've been in a new relationship for several months, for background the man is my best friend of 18 years. He had told me years ago how he felt but I was with someone else etc etc. Anyhow we ended up together and it's been amazing. He is loving and kind, treats me like a princess and the sex has been amazing.

I went through a traumatic time recently which he supported me through and I ended up drinking quite heavily for a couple of weeks after and I ended up pregnant. Both of us over the moon about this. My issue is that since being pregnant he's not interested in me sexually at all. I've asked him about this and he assured me he was just tired and it definitely wasn't me. It's just carried on now to the point where I have tried to initiate and got nowhere and I'm spending every night awake wondering what is wrong with me. Everything else is amazing it's literally just this bit it's knocking my confidence massively and I feel so stupid 🤦🏼‍♀️

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

It could be he is tired , my husband was like this when. Pregnant he was actually scared of hurting the baby
The few times we did have sex I was asked if the baby was ok multiple times ... was kinda in sexy

Anyhow 6 weeks after birth thing return to normal if that helps

Slightly easier for me to deal with But we have been romantically together 12 years and also pregnancy put me off sex to as felt so ill

Congratulations but if he is still off it in a week or so then perhaps re discuss please it’s unlikely he has gone off you though

He’s not tired. When a man knows he’s becoming a Dad he sees the woman differently, I know I did. Not that I didn’t fancy her or want to be with her, you just see her body differently when you know she has your child inside her, he’ll be back to normal after you give birth and are back in your feet. It’s just a weird feeling us men have when your pregnant, like a protective thing

Congratulations! I think he’s being protective almost like he’s worried to hurt you. It might change when you get bigger some men find that really sexy.

I really dont think you should worry.

I'm still really struggling with all this, maybe it's just hormones but it's been like 3 weeks of nothing now. Thing about him is he has a very high sex drive and from being friends for so long I know a lot about his past relationships and I still feel that something isn't right.

He proposed on Christmas Day, a lot of thought went into it and he made it into a game to begin with. It wasn't as romantic as he had hoped (because I'm a bit ditzy and wasn't getting his hints) but I was so overwhelmed and completely gobsmacked. The ring is just stunning and so very me. I am beginning to wonder if he's just worried about missing out on the baby if we weren't together? Part of me thinks I'm being ridiculous because I see in his eyes that he loves me but loving someone and being attracted to someone are different. I just miss the intimacy and it's really playing on my mind. I don't think speaking to him about it again will help because again I think he will just say he's tired but he's been off work for Christmas and will be into the new year so he's super relaxed and not at all tired.

Does he have any other children? If so, was he like this with his ex when she was pregnant?

I think you need to talk to him about how it makes you feel and if he doesn't step up, I'd be concerned about how he treats you. Best friend or not, remember friends only show you what they want to show, being in a relationship with them shows a new side and it's not always a side you'll want to see. Just be careful. I've seen it happen all to often when friends get together, rush things and then find out the true colours.

I wouldn’t want to marry anyone who wasn’t able to be honest with me about this, maybe he doesn’t quite know what’s going on himself, but pretending there isn’t something going on isn’t good.

Some men have this Madonna/whore thing. I don't really get it, but now you're pg with HIS child you are the Madonna, and Madonnas don't do anything as rude as having sex or do anything sexual at all. If it's that, then he needs to see a counsellor and talk it through, it might be a quick fix or it may take forever.

Maybe he thinks he can hurt the baby or that it’s inappropriate somehow? I remember DH researched very carefully if we could still do much when I found out I was PG with our first unless he’s hung like a horse the baby is fine I’m sure

I think I've been a bit distant as yesterday he kept asking me what was wrong and eventually last night I just said I thought he needed to tell me why he wouldn't come near me. He said that the further I am the more nervous he is and tried to reassure me that it's not that he is unattracted to me etc. I still feel it though but I've let it go, I don't want him to feel uncomfortable but then again I'm still laying awake at night and my mind is running away with me. I just feel completely unattractive and I miss the physical intimacy. I guess there's nothing I can do now but thank you all for your replies.