I miss my ex but have a boyfriend

[AmIBeingStupid111]

Hi, im 26, been with boyfriend for 8 months and I have been happy with him.
I broke up with ex during the summer last year after he moved abroad for no reason, just to "see the world", 2 weeks after I had had a major operation. This combined with his on and off dumping me and talking to other girls behing my back led to the breakup. I was devastated and he had been gone for coming on a year. He moved back about 2 months ago and wanted to meetup but i had moved on with someone else and was happy with that.

Hadnt heard off him since until i had a text the other day saying how hes going back abroad because he cant bear to be in the same town as me knowing we're not together and wished me a merry christmas.

This was 2 days ago and i havent stopped thinking about him since. And i've been getting a random "ick" feeling from boyfriend. When boyfriend tried it on with me last night, i couldnt stomach the thought so made out i was tired.

But before the email, I couldnt keep my hands off boyfriend. Maybe i'm just being hormonal - just came off the implant and started the pill

How would you feel if you were rejected by your boyfriend and he told you that it's because you make him feel 'ick'?

I didnt say i was pregnant?
But I dont usually get the ick about him, just yesterday, but maybe it was because i had a lot on my mind

Honestly @AmIBeingStupid111 I think you're overthinking this 'ick' thing - it was one moment on one day. Put it out of your mind - it's only worth paying attention to if it keeps happening

I separated with my ex nearly 3 years ago.
Our son was only 3 months old.
I cought him cheating.
I was heart broken .
The first 1.5 of our son life he never took him over .
He was coming to see him 2 or 3 times a week.
When my maternity leave ended I went back to work and I was studying full time.
The first 3 moths my ex was collecting him ftom nursery and to babysiting our son for 2 h. 5 days a week.
He never took him over so I didnt get any break a tall.
His excused was you wanted baby so take care of him.
It was the harder and most difficult time for me, lack of sleep, teething, chix pox all I did on my own , balancing work and study.
Then after I involved his sister as mediatiator as I couldnt beg anymore he wanted have him over for one night a week I was given week notice and was force to change my hours at work and give up study.
My boss was very understanding and change my hours so I could pick my don from nursey by the self.
College didnt want me to give up as I was doing great so let me finished in part time.
During last 2 years my ex keep changing our contact arrangment few times.
He changed job 3 times so our don never have stability or consistent with contacts.
He did let me down so many times I was forced to stop contact as my solicitor adviced me.
My ex didnt see our don for 6 weeks.
He was nasty, showed at nursery and my house.
I still didnt let him because i wanted him to contact me only via solicitor regards contact.
He didnt and went to court.
Finally i agreed for contact every week as starting point.
Every secend Saturday all day and overnight stay and every secend Sunday afternoon.
For first month he collected and dropped him as arranged then started asking for me to drive our son.
Excuse was he has no money for train, his sister is working and can't give him lift...
I was helping but i feel his takes advantage.
He find out I moved on and started texing me every day asking about update about our son and want me to arrange one day during the week for us to meet so our don can have family time with mum and dad.
I feel his is trying to use him to keep me close , still love me and during last 3 years asked me back so many times.
He wants be friends because our son but I dont believe in good intension.
In past he offered it and always took advantage of.
I care about my new partner.
We are getting on very well.
Im not rushing but if things work out Id like him to move in in 6 months.
I dont want my ex been hassle and i dont feel b friend with him as he was controlling , mental abused when wè were together.
My question is.:
Should I keep distance with my ex for my own health and happiness?
Or
Should I be friend with him for sick of our son?.
I dont think texting and meeting him make any difference to our 3 year old.

@vanillacheescake. You need to start your own thread. This will get lost in ops thread.

Well done on getting through school with all that went on. Take some of that determination and take ex to court to get iron clad, unchanging contact established.

Don’t do anything with the boyfriend until your head is sorted about the ex and you have worked enough on yourself to not be so confused about him. Unfair on all involved if you move him in (6 months from now does seem like a rush to be honest.) and then he has to move out because you are strong enough to have boundaries with ex.

*arent

Why did you get your latest thread deleted @AmIBeingStupid111?

Update: Ex is still sending me message requests and last night was about he was searching for me on boxing day night (i wasnt out) and he really thought we could talk them and how hes really sad.
Havent responded and i wont but thought id update

Why haven’t you blocked him?

I still go through this from time to time. My ex was the love of my life at the time...hope that's not the case forever as in reality he wasn't all that great! He was with someone else less than 8 weeks after we split he's been in contact trying to cheat on his current partner with me and this was before my current boyfriend and after. I sometimes still think about him in that way and it is rose tinted glasses for sure and it puts me off my current boyfriend even though he is 100% genuine and amazing.

You just have to think about the reality and you'll realise your ex is not even worth it. I think the feelings are natural though and you just need to focus on what you have.