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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Difficult mother ...please help, at a loss!

4 replies

JanelleSyrah · 20/12/2019 21:47

I am looking for some advice on how to deal with a difficult mother. My sister and I are at our wits end. Can we do anything?
So my mum....

  • very rigid in her opinion and hates anyone who thinks otherwise ... she'll be embarrassing snooty to someone's face!
  • corrects people Confused I get so embarrassed
  • she hates old people because they're not 'full of life'.... but, ironically she's bloody awful ,she's so grumpy and miserable and stuck in her ways
  • she's always comparing herself with others and it always comes across as being superior

I hold my tongue, my sister puts up with less then my mum cries.

We went shopping, I'd driven 4 hours to see her and all she did was complain about it being busy, other people and 'hates' everything.i felt like telling her to piss off and I'll do it myself.

Another example we got on the train and I obviously sat next to her but there was gum on the seat so I said I better not sit there so rather than us both move to the other 2 free seats ... literally a few feet away ...she looked at me and said 'well I'll see you later'

She wouldn't go to one of her best friends husband's funeral because it didn't suit her. No valid reason.

She's told my sister if we have kids she wants nothing to do with their childcare. Neither of us would ever even ask, we don't even have children! But she's always the martyr Hmm

My sister and I also have worked so hard on our careers. Our mum never asks at all about our jobs. If we mention our jobs the subject goes back to her.

We joke but when my husband asked my dad for my hand in marriage my mum got involved ,wasn't interested and changed the subject to where she should go on holiday next and was asking my fiancé for his opinion.

Sorry I'm rambling. I want ppl to say I am over reacting because I actually feel very sad and hurt this is it. I also feel a total bitch for being horrible about my mum.

In the past she has really leant on me for emotional support but never acknowledge d it.

Any advice would be great
Thank you x

OP posts:
Thornhill58 · 20/12/2019 21:55

Unfortunately we teach people how to treat us and by not being challenged she gets away with murder.
She sounds awful. You are going to have to punish bad behaviour.
I'll call her on her behaviour and if she cries she cries. Don't be afraid.
Better now she'll get worse.

JanelleSyrah · 20/12/2019 22:03

Thank you for replying.
My sister is so much better at standing her ground.
In a way at least I'm not imagining it. It's just so sad she's getting worse.

OP posts:
Cobblersandhogwash · 20/12/2019 22:31

How old is she?

JanelleSyrah · 20/12/2019 22:42

63!

OP posts:
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