Is pushing abusive?

[Purplerose6]

My partner and I were arguing and he got really angry. He told me to f**k off and I said no. So he pushed me and kept pushing/shoving me until he manhandled me out the living room doorway and slammed the door on me. I wasn't physically hurt apart from when he pushed my chest but it really upset me and scared me. He apologised but said I'm overreacting as if he had beaten me and I'm playing the victim.

Would you consider this abusive behaviour or am I overreacting? Would you leave the father/mother of your child for this?

Yes, any physical force is violence/abuse. And as PP said, if he sees this as ok then it could well go on to something else.

Yes it is abusive. It's also a crime - a push is classed as common assault, and the police would consider it abuse.

Imagine you have an adult daughter in exactly same situation. If it would be your daughter pushed, would it be abusive? Would you mind your daughter being in this situation?

My DH did that about 6 months ago. He pushed me several times until I fell on the floor. He was screaming at me, in my face, at the top of his voice. Over something he thought I am thinking... I didn't even do anything wrong...
I got off the floor and said that I am leaving him. He was so shocked! He did not realise he did anything wrong! He said he did it because he was so frustrated with me..and he would never ever hurt me and he loves me so much... The night before that, whilst I was asleep in bed with our toddler, he attacked me by throwing my bedside lamp at my back. He says he was so angry and frustrated at me and I must understand that.
He hasn't touched me since then. But my love for him has gone.
Am I mad for still staying with him?

Yes. You are.

You were physically hurt (your chest), he upset you and scared you. You've tried to tell him this and he's belittling your concerns.

Talk to Women's Aid, work out a way to safely leave and get out.

He should never put his hands on you and get physical.

Yes . Well look at it this way how would you feel if if you did this to your bolshy tween or teen ? You’d be absolutely mortified . And ashamed . And would apologise profusely . And would look into your anger .

Yet he not only did it but isn’t even apologising

Would he do this to his boss ? No

Op
If he wouldn't do this to anyone else why does he think it's ok to do it to you and you have to take it?

It's just the start. Next time it will be worse and he will still blame you for over reacting. Tell him.you are not over reacting and that you are not putting up with this crap. Call women's aid for help to leave pdq. You deserve better than someone who gets off bullying and attacking women. Take steps tell all your close family and friends do not brush this under the carpet. Get out pdq.

Kirsty do not stay with this man that is terrifying yet he is blaming you? You need to leave asap before he really really hurts you. Your child don't need to see this either. Call women's aid or get family to.help you.leave. Your child deserves to have a safe environment to.thrjve in not an abusive one. Take care.

@FalafelFriday I don't think people on this forum would condone DV from women either.

Where has anyone said the victim was up in the perpetrator's face? Even if someone were (which we have no evidence of in this thread I don't think? ) that doesn't justify physical force or make it legal.

They were arguing he said fuck off she said no... The story sounds familiar. And I didn't say it was OK... Actually I said I wouldn't tolerate it.

But I knew my post would be read wrong... It's the mumsnet way... I'll remove it. Because I didn't mean it to come across ok, but things that usually wouldn't happen do when arguing and staying in the space when someone you are arguing with says get out of it doesn't sound like a good idea either but..... It's mumsnet.

Have requested its removal since the only responses are to be in favour of the ops side of the story only... Perhaps a disclaimer mentioning that is a good idea next time...

Signing off.

Falafel 🥙 don’t run . The fact that people. Cant express a dissenting view here continues to concern me

It’s like bloody brexit ! Ops post concerns me purely because I have been there and that colours my view . But I have female friends that get into massive spats like
You depict
I guess the difference is they are regretful . Whereas Op sounds scared ?

Anyone who makes excuses for getting physical is a moron. It is NEVER acceptable to get physical with someone, even if they are "up in your face" which we don't know OP was. If someone is up in your face then YOU need to walk away, not get physical with them.

I would say the exact same thing if the genders were reversed and have done on here before.

I just think if you want to share information
And tell a poster something valid , a more polite and sharing tone is Going to impart a valid Message over above abuse and name calling

We are are many of us victims of abuse and yet we will behave abusively when we don’t agree with someone

I find that very ironic