I had a thread before about discovering my husband was having an affair back in June. The discovery was horrendous, he ended the affair, and moved in with his father. I have been as amicable as I can be, I allow him into the home so he can see our daughters (one of them won’t go out with him, but still wants contact), most times it is ok but he seems to have developed an anger problem. He’s so guilt stricken, and wallowing in self pity, that he can’t stand to see me cry. Unfortunately I couldn’t help myself the other day and everything went south. I’ve now banned him from coming Xmas day unless he seeks medical help/counselling because I’m sick of walking on eggshells around him.
The house is jointly owned, he doesn’t have a key, and is no longer registered as living here. He is threatening to come round whether I like or not on Xmas and if I don’t like it, I can piss off elsewhere. I’ve spoken to the police and been advised to keep the doors locked so he can’t access.
My question is, I keep doubting myself. Am I doing the right thing? The children are both teenagers and I know they can make their own decisions to see him but I just feel I need to protect them from his outbursts. Our home should be our safe space, and I don’t want to be walking on eggshells if I let him come in. I’m getting differing advice, some say I am being mean because it’s xmas and he’s their dad, some people are saying I’m correct in putting boundaries in place.
My head is spinning. One child doesn’t want to see him, the other does. He has nowhere to take them Xmas morning as he is staying with his father, and his dad hasn’t bothered with any of us for 6 months so they wouldn’t go there. My head is telling me I’ve made the right decision, my heart feels sorry for him