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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cheat?

2 replies

Mum1416 · 20/12/2019 13:28

Hi everyone, I’m new on this.

My head is so wrecked.

29 year old mum of one perfect little boy.

2 weeks ago today a girl tried to add me on Facebook, knowing that this was an ex of my partners I asked him why she was adding me. He told me how he had been in contact with her for three days and had spoken about meeting up if we break up over the weekend. I know this is irrelevant but she is not the most beautiful or intelligent creature but still ... intent was there. She knew about me and my son ant that my partner and I had been having a rough time.

Background context, we where buying a bank house, and to sign contracts the following Monday m, something he had been pushing not me. I had thought we where bad because of the stress of that and we lost a baby last year that I’m not exactly coping fantastically with but it has all taken a toll on our relationship. We where best friend for so long and we have lost it all.

I kicked him out ... there was no real anger on my behalf I just couldn’t be around him. . I can understand that things where terrible and I don’t necessarily blame him. I’m hurt to the core because I genuinely love every part of him. He has been my world. But since we had our 3 year old things have been bad.

We have both agreed to try and put our hearts in it again and focus on each other.

I suppose I’m wondering am I crazy. Will this happen again and break me down again. I’m so sad, finding it hard to be ok.

Has anyone any positive vibes that has been in this situation.

From,

Heart broken mum.

OP posts:
lexiepuppy · 20/12/2019 15:19

Hi,
This sounds like a terrible situation for you and I guess you are still grieving for your little one.

Am I right in understanding that he has got this ex woman as a rebound relationship all set up and she wants to be FB friends with you? How bizarre!

I think you need to concentrate on yourself and your 3 year old.

He sounds like a right prick and you need to have some space.

Do you have family and friends to support you in RL?

Just be gentle with yourself, if he wants to go with this OW he is showing you a lack of respect and what he really thinks.

Love yourself more.Flowers

TheTickingTime · 20/12/2019 15:38

I am sorry you are having such a tough time. Have had similar of my ex, was horrible. I took my ex back time and time again. Promises on his behalf and all the rosy tinted glasses etc. I gave up one day, just casually sat at the park, last autumn and was speaking to my ex on the phone, he was again talking about women at his work, I found he bored me, and something just clicked and I said to him that I knew my worth even if he didn't. Very long story. Haven't looked back since and I am much happier. This realisation happened over time and my ex was a shit. This may not be your case at all. Your partner may really want to support your future plans on staying together and get that love back in. However remember that Christmas makes people do daft things, as it's all about family and that. So people tend to stay together and then new year hits with other goals and priorities. Please look after you.

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