What do you call your Person? Just for fun

[hotcheesetoastie]

So I read an article today from a writer who was looking at what terms there are for her significant other that didn't stick that conveyed the stage they were at in their relationship. She referenced Margaret Atwood, who had been with her partner for 46 years. Margaret's partner passed away and Margaret put out a statement saying “We are devastated by the loss of Graeme, our beloved father, grandfather, and spouse”. She thought this was interesting as the couple weren't married.

"Ooh’, I thought, ‘interesting.’ As someone who also has a long-term (although at nine years we’re amateurs by comparison) non-husband, I’m always on the lookout for ways to describe our relationship to people, without the solid, easily-recognisable parameters of marriage and children. But even in 2019, in a dictionary brimming over with new ways to sum up the ever-shifting nuances of modern life, there aren’t many".

Ive been with my partner for 6 years and we have a mortgage and a dog together, but aren't engaged. I was just curious as to what you call you partners and thought it could be a fun chat topic :) I tend to just call him my boyfriend or partner to people. It conveys enough, but I agree with the writer of the article's frustration that boyfriend can mean you've been together for 4 weeks or 4 years and that it would be nice to have something that conveyed you had moved beyond getting to know each other and were serious about the relationship, just not married (the didn't sound business-like or too formal).

www.stylist.co.uk/long-reads/relationships-what-to-call-romantic-partner-boyfriend-girlfriend-long-term-couple/338181

The options the author gave were:

Spouse
Partner
Boyfriend/girlfriend
Other Half
Significant other
Baby daddy
Companion
Fella/the old lady
My darling
My person
Preferred human
Paramour
Husband
German - "Lebensgefährte”, which translates literally as “companion through life”.
Swedish - “sambo” - which neatly describes a couple who live together but aren’t married.
Irish - “mo chuisle” my pulse
simbelgefera - constant companion
Beloved Bedfellow
Headmatch

Mine was "the fella I'm seeing " until we got married, now he is my hubby (yes I'm one of them that uses that word)

Even when we lived together (before marriage) he was still my fella or the fella I'm seeing. There was no need for upgrade on title until we were married.

Know of a lovely woman who calls her husband "My man" and is so obviously in love with him.

He's as faithless as the rest. It's so sad.

Nearly all my younger (twenty- and thirty-something) colleagues use "my other half" to describe their boyfriend/girlfriend, ie. someone they've been seeing less than a year or a live-in partner and sometimes even wife/husband. I find it really strange and unfeminist, but then I think that generation generally are less feminist.

I find people in their forties and older generally use bf/gf if they're just dating, partner if they live together and husband/wife when they actually are (with the odd exception of those cba to explain why they're not married and use h/w).

@Branleuse 14 years and living separately by choice I presume? Out of interest, how does it work with your children?

@BendylikeBeckham some things work really well and other things are an absolute pain, but we are all aspie so this is how its working best for us at the moment. I dont go into too much detail about how it works on mumsnet cos ive seen how unconventional set ups can get judged and questioned on here and I dont have the energy for it x

I really detest the phrase 'other half'. It puts my teeth on edge. I think it's because my feminist hackles rise that the suggestion that a woman is half a person without a man.

You're assuming heterosexual relationship.

Branleuse

I also have AS. I hated living with my husband and know that it's unlikely I could live with someone again - unless it were someone who could give me lots of space. And i had my own bedroom.

Hearing of your situation gives me hope.

I call him “my man” and he calls me “ the missus”. We’re not actually married.

I use his name. As far as I can tell he uses mine.

I have thought about this when it has come up before and, weird as it might sound, after 30 years married, I still don't discuss him or introduce him as my husband etc.

And whilst I did take his surname I rarely use Mrs either. Just my name. Causes consternation on bank card applications

14 years, kids, mortgage etc. I usually call him my partner. When I say boyfriend people think that's different to my kids' dad so partner it is. I think he calls me his girlfriend or partner.

I call him my partner because saying 'boyfriend' makes me cringe for some reason.

30+ years ago, I came across a new word from a zookeeper at San Diego Zoo .... posslq (pronounced possel-cue). Remember that this was before same-sex relationships were common. Posslq stands for for "Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters". I came away from that holiday with a koala toy called Posslq

I used to use the term "partner" until he became "fiance" and then "husband".

DM used “mate”, She thought it sounded less business like than “partner”.

My husband to the outside world
Snuggs to each other - yep 🤢 I know!

Interesting as DP and I have had this discussion. We don't live together but know we are in it for the long haul. We aren't young so BF/GF sounds juvenille. He likes partner as anything else makes it sound like we aren't serious. I thought partner was more for when you live together really, but that's mainly from reading that on here. So I'm going with partner.

Partner is great until you work in a law firm!

I say partner even though we're engaged. Fiancé sounds a bit wanky I guess. Looking forward to saying husband in a 18 months

My aunt and her long term partner used to describe one another as lovemates.

Poo boy

Penis breath.

By their name!

Significant other is another in common use.

Boyfriend until we had DD. Partner now, we're engaged but fiance feels wanky to say. I changed my surname when I fell pregnant with DD so sometimes I might say husband to someone not close who knows both our surnames, like the estate agent, just for ease

I forgot to say his bank travel insurance states spouse as partner you live with so I think that's probably ok to use

Husband; preciously partner.