Hi this could be quite a long one.
I was with my ex fiancé for just under 5 years, we had 2 kids together and she had one from a previous relationship I am 31 she is 27, we had a life together, house, Bills, joint stuff everywhere etc when one night at the end of may she turned round and said it was over, it hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere but it was my fault, I didn’t notice the signs, I worked a lot and didn’t do as much as I should have done at home, I did under appreciate her and everything she did I admit that. I looked to my friends for support and one of my best who was like a younger brother who is 20 seemed so keen to help, a few days later I found out they were now together, I cut off contact, I hated them both because they did nothing but lie about it until they were caught out by me in my bed when I went round to drop off the kids coats, fast forward to 2 weeks ago, me and the ex had been talking and getting on as much as we can when after watching our daughter in her nativity she kissed me and said she has some thinking to do, the next day more kissing, more passion and she said she has decided she wants to give us another go. I will add in the 6 months I have chased her, I barely sleep, I have lost 5 stone in weight because I don’t eat as my brain puts them 2 together and it makes me physically sick. She ends up dumping him, saying we are gonna do us for awhile, how much she regrets what she did, she knows it was wrong etc etc.....fast forward 2 days she has kicked him out, I am round her house, it’s the kids bedtime I offer to put them to bed but because daddy is there they are excited, I read them stories like I do when I have them they still are awake, she comes up and says why aren’t they asleep yet I turned round and said “I don’t know they just won’t seem to settle” and with that she turned, told me to leave, she needed space, the next day she said she couldn’t do it, she was taking him back, she felt like nothing had changed with me.....now she has found herself in a problem, she is late on all her bills because he hadn’t been turning up for work and so didn’t get paid, I still want to give us a go but she says she doesn’t know where her head is at, I have offered to help her out of the mess she is in but she says it isn’t about the money and she will find a way, I have a professional job so do ok and him at 20 has no qualifications and works at a leisure centre. I feel like the back up option but I also feel like she has me exactly where she wants me, she says she loves me and loves him and doesn’t want to choose but is with him every night and refuses to even see me right now as she needs space and I don’t understand, it is causing me untold pain but I still love her like I always have....