If your husband has your wedding photo tattooed on his back.....

[MrsKaplan]

....he may be using an escort!!
I found out my husband has been seeing prostitutes and kicked him out. I hate to say but I got a bit obsessed with looking at sites discussing this. From horrible sites where the punters gloat about their conquests, to sites where the escorts discuss their job. In one site an escort said she felt guilty as a good looking man had a photocopy quality tattoo of his wedding photo on his back. That nearly made me sick. He went to all the trouble, pain and expense to make such a declaration then pays to shag another woman.
I know I probably need counselling for what the man I adored put me through but hate to see other women living this lie.

Try not to think about it in the context of your own bad experience. It's possible he might have split from his wife, but not had the tattoo removed - a tattoo like that would cost a fortune to have lasered off and it doesn't sound like something you could disguise with cover-up tattoos.

I agree, it sounds like counselling might help you cope better with what happened to you. I think you need to stop looking at these websites because they are clearly just triggering you again and again, although I appreciate it's probably like picking at a scab and hard to stop.

Who the fuck has a wedding picture tattooed anywhere?

Just because one man who happened to have such a tattoo was using escorts doesn't mean that all men (if there are any others) who have that tattoo are doing the same though does it?

Your husband is an arsehole btw. I hope you are ok

@highlyunreasonable the point of the post is to let the wife know if she's on MN I think

@GiveHerHellFromUs ohhhh 🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm so sorry, I get it now! It's clearly too early for me!

I hadn’t thought they may have separated, fair point. I just know that I got married and remained faithful, and put everything in to creating a family I was so proud of and for years my husband was seeing prostitutes. It has very nearly broken me, I know it’s a long shot but if I can stop this lady (if still married) wasting any more time living a lie then it’s worth a go.
For anyone else posting on here with suspicions - mine was just looking, would never have gone through with it etc etc. He didn’t realise google was tracking his internet history and location history for years.

How awful of your exH, so sorry OP.

@MrsKaplan I have also been through this too. I came off MN for a while as there seemed to be so many posts about escorts. I name changed and am back now having mostly healed..
I was diagnosed with PSTD after same thing happened to me. Therapist said it was the lies and double life that caused the trauma.
Like you I spent hours researching/ digging.
What did I learn? That it was not me! There are some really vile men out there that will lead a double life even if it is destroys everyone they claim to care for.
I think reading these sort of posts reaffirms that it is sadly a common occurence, hence reassuring us but also makes us relive it, which is so painful too? Sort of adding to the suffering?
You really may benefit from more support around this to arrive at your own piece of mind?
Warning others although a highly noble and well meaning action, means nothing if people do not want to acknowledge the reality or accept the reality?
It took me 4!! Years to finally leave but not until I was a shell with serious MH issues. Lost my career health and home by refusing to believe what was staring me in the face...
I wish there was a forum group for people who have been through/ going through this.
I am so sorry that you have gone through this. Its a very lonely place to have a person do that to you that promised to love and care for you. But it will get easier x

Thanks for your message minty and I am sorry you have been through this too. I also have suffered terribly with my mental health. What I know now to be gaslighting was the worst part. All of the evidence I needed was there but he told me I was paranoid and he would never have gone through with it. Even when I presented him with his search and location history he insisted he had never actually been into her house. I loved and trusted him so much that it had been easier to try and believe him, but in the end I knew that I would’ve living this hell for ever. I’ve probably felt just as bad since he left as I miss the husband I thought I had so much.
Maybe we should start a support thread!

I'm getting to the point of accepting this is what most men do. They lie, cheat, perve. It seems inevitable.

I know a man who claims he is unhappy with his very beautiful lovely wife and he has acknowledged he will probably never be truly happy deep down - but he would never tell her that as she wouldn’t have married him and he wanted kids. I think some people have this lack of ability to actually love people and appreciate what they do have, and always feel a bit empty. So they look for ways to feel less empty - even when it looks like they have it all!

Just because one man who happened to have such a tattoo was using escorts doesn't mean that all men (if there are any others) who have that tattoo are doing the same though does it?

I don't think OP is saying that - her point is that there is someone out there with a very unusual tattoo and if that specific person is your DH, then he might be the person the escorts were talking about.

I don't think OP is suggesting anything general about people who get tattoos declaring their commitment- she's trying to warm one specific woman whose DH has a very distinctive tattoo.

@MrsKaplan the pain will ease in time. Its like unrequited love. You love them so unconditionally but its not returned. How can they love you in return when their actions are so cruel.
Yep the gaslighting and making you lose your sanity is the worst.
I still think that if my ex had really loved and cared he should have been honest, said to me I have a lifestyle which I want to continue with I think you deserve better. I would have respected him more and although that ultimate rejection that he preferred random women and sex workers would have been so painful, it would have been preferable to losing my sanity.
So now I gave accepted his total selfishness to use me as a cover for his sordid life and that he did not love me. I dont torture myself by accepting the truth. I am happily remarried now to a man who adores me. You deserve to be happy x