Husband is having a EA

[StripedZebra2]

My husband of 14 years has been having a EA with a woman he met at a training course about a month ago.

I found out yesterday morning after seeing a message on his phone. We are open with our phones. I only looked at his phone to get the time.

There are feelings on both sides and he’s been pressuring her to meet up over the Xmas holidays. Most of the messages have been deleted but I’ve seen some, enough to know it’s not innocent.

I’ve spoken to him about it but he won't tell me much, keeps saying he doesn’t know. Has basically only admitted to what I’ve seen.

I’m a anxious wreck as he won’t talk, I need to know but he won’t tell me. He’s also showing no remorse what so ever and is carrying on as normal. He said they just got carried away there was nothing in it and to let it go.

I can’t just let it go. I just don’t know what to do. I would like him to talk to me but he’s just completely shut down.

He won’t beg for forgiveness 1) he’s blinded by the “new, pretty thing” 2) he has no incentive to beg as he still has everything in place

I had an EA. I stopped it and told my husband everything. I was racked with guilt and felt awful. My husband was so kind and he agreed to go to counselling to help resolve our issues. The fact your husband is not remorseful is really upsetting.