Think it’s ended. Advice deciding message

[Moses12]

Written on here before. Being seeing a guy for 4 months. Both busy, him craft business, full time job and 50% custody of teenager. Me full time job often working overtime and active social life. We live 30 mins drive From each other and see each other 1/2 nights a week.

Since December has hit, we have little time to see each other. He warned me that as he has family from abroad a d he is doing craft fairs he won’t have much free time. I understood this, but we said we would make time once a week. 22nd onwards we knew we would not see each other for a week due to Xmas plans. Last saw him Saturday a d he said we should hopefully see each other before next week. However, getting time has been hard.

He cancelled Monday as messed up an order. On Tuesday he said free Sunday night or potentially Friday as his teenager may not be staying. I said Friday best and he said he round confirm, but if not Sunday. Other free days he is out for drinks with work and off to see star wars with his mate Saturday.

So I found out today that he definitely has his teenager on Friday. He didn’t tell me. I messaged him to ask if still on for Friday, replied no got kid, but she may change her mind. Great didn’t tell me! He then said with his family Saturday from abroad, out with mate Saturday and then with family Sunday. I asked still free Sunday night. He replied as I said with family Sunday. He had told me day before free on Sunday night!

I am now annoyed as he can make plans with everyone but me! I sent a messaging saying ok oh well. Have a great tine with your family and Christmas. I really wanted to send a break up text, but couldn’t as honestly not ready to give up, even though I should.

I can’t and won’t ask him to not see his kid, as that’s priority. He said he was looking forward to seeing his family as not seen them for years. I understand this too and was expecting not too see him when they were here. It annoys me he can break plans with family to spend time with his mate, but not me.

His reply - you too, hope your parents don’t do your head in. This sounds A final message. Basically it sounds to me that I won’t hear from him at all. Like we have mutually parted ways. In my head he has annoyed me and I can’t express my frustration without sounding like I am getting at his kid now staying on the night we had planned. I haven’t meet her yet. But what annoys me is the lack of supposed priority I have. What do you think?

You can end a relationship for any reason or none, OP. If it's this difficult this early on - and 4 months is nothing really - can you really be arsed with it all? He probably likes you well enough but, as you've said, he has prioritised everything else in his life above you. In your position, I would be thinking about looking for somebody who is more available.

True. I have kind of given up really. There is so much energy you can put in. Oh well.

He MAY come back after Christmas but he is obviously very low interest. A man who was into you, would make the effort regardless of their schedule.

He is slowly phasing you out. A coward way to end it after 4 months.

He will probably wanna see you after the new year but tbh if he really wanted to see you he would make time. Even dropping in on his way from work or whatever.
For your own sanity I'd end it the next time he wants to suddenly meet up and not respond to him after that or in the meantime. Let him be the one wondering why you don't chase him anymore.
Life is too short it seems he's just not that into you.
Find someone who is. Xx

I think your expectations a re a little high here.

You sasy you have been dating 4 months and meet 1-2 times a week. So you've met this guy 20ish times. Have you had the exclusive chat yet? are you making future plans?

I'm not sure i'd expect my new boyfriend to put me before friends and family this time of year so soon in a relationship.

You've acknowledged you both have busy lives. Missing 1 date isn't putting you on the back burner.

His text isn't dumping you.

Chill out.

I would let him be until the new year and then see how he is. Work, teenager, craft business and sister coming from abroad all in december is a lot. You've not been together long enough to be included but if you're still together next holiday you'll be able to spend time together. See what he's like from January and if he still sees you as an option then cut him loose. I've recently started seeing someone and he already had loads of plans in place so I'm not too worried that we can't see each other much at the moment.

Didn’t you go through all of this a couple of weeks ago on another thread? Nothing has changed since then. It’s the same problem.

Yes we had the exclusive chat. It’s not the being excluded or not seeing him. It was the way he said was busy and made plans with others. Oh well, at least I found out.

It is only 4 months and he told you he was going to be really busy in the run up to Christmas. I don't think he has done anything wrong or anything to say that he is not interested in you. I think you are writing this off far too early. Just leave it now and enjoy Christmas and see if he contacts you when the holiday is over. It is under a week until Christmas is over and under two weeks to New Year. It isn't very long to wait.