BIL possibly hates me

[Starryskye]

So basically my BIL has a gf that myself and DH don't want around our baby as she's just generally not a nice person but we don't make a big deal about it. A few weeks ago out of the blue BIL removed me off fb and no explanation why. Then he's sent a Christmas card but hasn't included me or DD on the card.

So am I just being sensitive or is there some sort of issue I'm unaware of do you think? Me and DH have been together for 3 years and no issues with BIL until this.

An issue you’re unaware of?
You know what the issue is, you’re keen to keep his girlfriend away from your baby. If he decided you weren’t good enough for his new baby you would want your DH to do the same.

So am I just being sensitive or is there some sort of issue I'm unaware of

Unaware of. It's probably this issue....

BIL has a gf that myself and DH don't want around our baby as she's just generally not a nice person

Is it really you and your DH, is it really just you that doesn't like her?

but we don't make a big deal about it

Uh, I'm pretty sure you are.

BIL has a gf that myself and DH don't want around our baby as she's just generally not a nice person but we don't make a big deal about it.

A few weeks ago out of the blue BIL removed me off fb and no explanation why. Then he's sent a Christmas card but hasn't included me or DD on the card.

The big deal has just been made OP. However I would take great fucking umbrage at the exclusion of my DD, for that alone, they are a pair of Dicks.

You know what the issue is.
You don’t want the woman he is with to be around his nephew/niece.
Either you stand by that and the consequences or you don’t.

What makes her unsuitable to be around your child?

Well you can’t just drop it like that! What makes her unsuitable to be around your kid? With no context it sounds like a total snub and it shouldn’t be a shock that they are offended.

Why is she unsuitable?

Not a nice person? Think you might be a bit PFB here

You are making a big deal out of this. He knows you don't like his DP and has her back, good for him.

You cant be serious?! You wont allow her near your child but you're upset hes removed you and not addressed a card to you and dd?!

It's obvious what the issue is.

If you've made it slightly obvious how you feel I'd expect the exact same as you've got.

He's making a point, as no doubt you would want your DH to do if the situation was reversed.

What’s wrong with her? You’ve excluded her from your family, he’s decided only his brother is his family.

You’re not sensitive enough, he’s been perfectly clear how he feels.

So how exactly DO you keep her away from your child? Because I can't think of a single way you could do this without making one HELL of a big deal over it.

so it's okay for you to cut off people but you don't see why the favour should be returned??

right ho then.

She lives in a different country so only visits once every few months if that. She's a compulsive liar and made a pass at my DH which BIL brushed off but is partly why DH doesn't like her. There's also a history of drug abuse. That's why really because we couldn't trust she was 'clean' to be with DD. It's always been this way for 3 years but only in the past few weeks this happened just seems strange to be now and not back at the start.

Also I'm upset about the card for DD, just confused for myself is all. It's about the whole thing not just the card but thank you for your kind words...

That's some drip feed that

Well... you're absolutely right to keep this girlfriend away from your Child. If your BIL cannot see her for what she is then more fool him.. Accept that he has spat the dummy, and that's the end of it. Personally, given his choices, I wouldn't have BIL near my kids either, he sounds like a right spineless twat.

Forget about them both OP

"she's just generally not a nice person"

In fact she's a drug user and threw herself at your husband? Bit of an understatement there...

Bit of an understatement there...

you're not kidding...

Was she on drugs before this didn’t go the way you were expecting?

Was she on drugs before this didn’t go the way you were expecting?

I suspect not.

What was her story around the pass made at your DH?

YABU to keep someone away from your baby and then be surprised when she and her partner don’t like you or want anything to do with you. Keeping someone away from a baby is such a dramatic thing to do and really suggest that this person is awful, dangerous, unhinged... the reasons you don’t like her don’t really have anything to do with your child and it seems like you’re using your child as a weapon and implying some really awful things about the girlfriend by doing so. So don’t let her see the kid, fine, if that’s what you want to do. But don’t expect BIL to be happy about the fact that you’re being so dramatic and basically hinting awful things about his partner in the process.