Non existent sex life in marriage

[SarahNWL]

So I am 24 and DH is 28, we've been together for 7 years. We used to have sex twice a day, nearly every day. Over the last 3-4 years this has dramatically dropped... the last time we had sex was 6 weeks ago. He only seems to really lust for sex every few weeks. I've never seen/caught him masturbating, he says that he doesn't and I believe it. I just feel like this is a shockingly low sex drive for a 28 year old man. And now its been 6 weeks since we last had sex, I kind of feel abit awkward about actually doing the deed now and don't want to initiate it, or I want to be a bit tipsy before trying to initiate it.

Has anyone got the same slump in their sex lives.. or how can i get his sex drive back up ( and my confidence) ??!?!?

Usually it’s one of these reasons assuming you have no kids.

Stress at work
Depression
Lost interest in you but to scared to say anything
Porn addiction
Other woman

Have you asked him?

@zzzz19 We have no children. I have asked him about it and he said that he doesn't feel confident anymore.. he has gained about 7 stone since we met and is quite big, we also found out that he has no sperm in his cum and i feel like this might be an issue for him as he sees sex as pointless? But its not like we are trying for kids, so the whole sperm thing isnt an issue for me atm. I just want the man back who'd grab my bum as i walked past and want to have sex... also when we do have sex it lasts 5 mins because he cums so quickly!

@SarahNWL

There's a quite a lot there that could be causing it tbh

He has gained 7 stone. As someone who has gained (and lost and gained again) significant amounts of weight I can tell you it does affect confidence but also the fat affects hormones so this can directly affect libido.

He has discovered that he doesn't produce sperm....this could be a massive blow to him. He may think he is less of a man because of this. It would not be unusual if he did, lots of people, both male and female are hugely emotionally affected when they find they are infertile.

He suffers with premature ejacualtion. This can be for a number of reason (a lot of them emotional) If you feel that all other parts of your relationship are good and steady would you consider a sex therapist?

7 stone is a huge amount of weight to gain - I'd be less concerned about the lack of sex and concentrating more on reducing his risk of a heart attack