(I know this is likely to get a lot of people thinking "your MIL sounds lovely you ungrateful cow" and "send her round to mine and she can do my housework". So before I start: yes she IS lovely, and no I'm not sending her round to yours because she should be doing less housework not more of it!)
My MIL is wonderful, kind, lovely grandmother to my DSs and her other grandchildren. We recently-ish moved close to the town where she lives/DH grew up and it is lovely to get to see more of her. But she is very VERY determined to help with the house - and everything else - and it has got to a point where I really really would like her to stop or at least cut down a lot.
First and main reason: because she should get to relax! I would like my house to be a nice place for her to enjoy herself and not an endless chore. She still works p/t (albeit very p/t but still) and she looks after SIL's kids sometimes as well, and I don't want her spending all the time she has at ours doing laundry and cleaning windows and dusting bookshelves.
It feels like she's always on duty. She came round for dinner last night and first insisted on cooking it ("no, MIL, sit down and put your feet up") and then hung around in the kitchen saying "can I help? can I do that? I'll cut that for you, pass me that knife, what else do you need from the fridge?" for ages, and then when we were eating dinner, any time DS1 asked for something/complained about something (is going through a whingy phase) she'd leap up saying "I'll do it!" and DH spent half the dinner saying "No Mum, sit DOWN!"
Second reason: because it is not always massively helpful. She tidies things away and I can't find them, or she does things I didn't want or need doing. DH gives her specific tasks to do when she insists on doing something, but this doesn't help much either because half the time she won't do the thing he asked for (eg the other week - DH was putting away laundry before work, MIL came round and asked how she could help, DH asked her to finish putting the DC clothes away, came back later to find she had "given that hall cupboard a good sort-out but haven't got to the clothes yet" and they were still lying on the sofa with the dog sleeping on them). Plus I just don't want my MIL going into my underwear drawer, no matter how neatly she folds things.
Third reason: because I don't like feeling that my house is some kind of ongoing project, or that we as adults aren't seen as capable of looking after a household without support and supervision. I know this will sound petty but it is starting to grate on me now. While our house isn't as tidy as hers it is really not that bad and I just don't need MIL turning up with her own cleaning kit when she's supposed to be coming round to see the children ("MIL you did not need to do that!" "Oh nonsense, it's always nicer to use your own mop.")
I think she has just learned to be like this over the years because FIL is a bit of a bully tbh. But we're not, she doesn't have to earn her keep here, she can just relax and I really wish she would. I have tried speaking to her about it and DH has tried speaking to her about it and nothing has worked. We've been here over a year now - is there a chance she will calm down?