New mum loneliness

[heydiddlediddlee]

Nc for this as I'm so embarrassed

I have an 11m old and I'm battling such loneliness. DH works long hours and I'm in a different city to all my family.

No friends have babies and I've lost contact with them all. I stupidly didn't do NCT I didn't realise it was such a big thing and way to make friends. I try so hard at groups and make lots of small talk but finding it hard to form friendships.. I do get phone numbers but people cancel plans and seem so busy.

I'm a very socialable person, I do a job that involves talking to people and I am outgoing but I can't seem to make good mum friends. It's so exhausting trying all the time.

I did have two mum friends but they have gone back to work now so I'm more lonely than ever.

I feel so sad. I spend so much time wandering around. I even work remotely so I don't see work colleagues either.

Has anyone been in this boat? Will it get better?

I can totally relate to this, I have twins who are now almost 2, but in the early days I felt so lonely! Have you tried local mum Facebook groups to meet new friends? Play gyms, activities. I did this and have met some lovely people, and it's just nice to get out of the house! Xx

Aww twins wow super mum!!

Yes we go to so so much every day and I chat to people always. But I feel like everyone has their friends so it's just small talk. I can't seem to make deeper friendships.

you're really not alone in feeling like this OP there's been a lot more research on this lately

have a look here and maybe try some of the tips, you do have to be a bit shameless as it says
www.emmasdiary.co.uk/wellbeing/postnatal/loneliness

xx sending hugs

Baby is a terrible sleeper so I feel like I have no time without him at all. Sleep deprivation makes everything feel worse I think

Hi
You can still join NCT now! Great network there

yes join NCT now - it will definitely help

The sleep deprivation will make things feel worse - everything in life feels more copeable with if you're able to sleep

working remotely also makes things hard. I know DH works long hours but are you able to arrange for him to be with DC for a few hours one night a week so you can get out and do something with people? It doesnt have to be baby related - my fitness class is full of mums to the extent that as a non mum Im the one that feels excluded at times but its fine, its what they all have in common, so maybe try a route where its about an interest rather than parenting x

NCT is a funny one because it depends on who is in your group. I didn't do it because my sister had a hellish time from her group unfortunately.

However, I did join a website called mummy social and have a close group of 6 people including myself. I met the first friend when my son was 2 months old and now he's 4 (5 in February). I'd definitely recommend it.

I've got a 12 week old too and went along to a breastfeeding group when I was struggling being the only person who can feed her. I don't need breastfeeding support now but I met some lovely people so I go along to support others.

My wife has been using an app called mush, she has met a few mums on that

Would you have any time, money or energy to attend any evening class?