Why do some people do this? [Edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

[Louise000000]

I had been seeing a guy for past few weeks. I've known him for a year but recently started seeing him as my marriage ended. Started off with 4 weeks of regular texting, but very long chats. He seemed very full on maybe even a bit too much for me (eg I sent him a pic of me and he set it to his screen saver) but I went with the flow because I really fancied him.
3 weeks ago we started meeting up and I've seen him 6 times with regular texting in between. Felt really nice, we got on great and he made it clear he really fancied me.

Anyway the last time we met at his we were lying on the couch and I gave him a wank (sorry!!) Which was the first sexual contact we had done apart from boob action.
He lasted only a few seconds and then was a bit awkward afterwards and I put that down to being a bit embarrassed about not lasting long etc didn't think too much of it.

Then as of the next day he was totally distant and I could totally sense a shift in the energy and enthusiasm.
This went on for a further 6 days and I finally asked did he want to leave things for now and he said his head was all over the place and my situation with my husband wasn't sitting as easily with him as he thought (ie recently seperated and we have kids)
Now that is a good reason, however I don't believe it's the truth. He's been put off me in some way but I just don't know how!!
How can a guy go from being so into someone that he's so full on, planning weekends away, asking what my parents would think of him, sending far too many kiss emojis and compliments etc etc to withdrawing completely and going right off me.
Can anyone explain why this happens??
He also said he didn't want me to think he was only after one thing? Well I am only after one thing really I'm just out of a 13 year relationship
He was pushing this much more down the romantic/boyfriend type route, I'd have been happy with more casual and fwb although I wanted to get to know him more first.
I can't get my head round it!! I'm not too upset or anything, just baffled at how guys can change like the wind!!

@nowaypose I actually think that's what's happened here and it was just a coincidence that we had taken it a bit further the same date. Thinking back now I did speak alot about my kids etc. He's maybe just realised its all a bit heavy for a guy whose been single so long.
This would explain his explanation too;
My situation is bothering him more than he thought, he doesn't want me to think he's only after one thing ie the only way he would want to keep seeing me is on a sex basis as anything more is too much for him to take on maybe?
Makes sense if that's it too and def makes me feel better that it's not been something personal that's put him off! !

Tbh OP, I don't think you needed to change the thread title, because some men DO do this. I notice there are some men on this thread who've been attracted to defend their sex by the original title. But the fact is, some men do in fact do this, as had been borne out by the many many threads about exactly this on MN over the years.

Im going against the grain here but to me it reads quite simply- he had the orgasm he wanted and then he went cold. All the preamble and "foreplay" / setting etc was building up to that. He got what he wanted and that was that. He probably didn't really view you as a whole person or respect you that much. He certainly wasn't very honest with you.

You sound like you handled things fine OP.

*sexting not setting

@OxfordCat he only got a 10 second hand job! If he would have met me again he would have got more
Oh well his loss! !
I want to believe he isn't a complete Dick as I thought he was really decent.
I've heard alot of women being ghosted by men hence the origional title. Not wanting anyone to get their knickers in a twist hence the title change

Well I realise it's illogical but by your logic all men would come back for more shags after the first one, but many of them don't! Something about getting what they wanted.

Sorry it didn't work out! Hope you find a more worthy fwb x

Update: he's back and missing me
He got a wee bit spooked and thought I wanted more. We have had a good chat and going to keep seeing one another. He is a lovely guy so I'm so pleased!!

Hmm. Be sure to tell him that mixed messages arent for you so it is not to happen again...... you have given him a green light to disappear and come back

Yes I sure have. Think we are on the same page now

Oh well...if he hasn't had any for two years I would make sure you have something for being sore down below as no doubt there will be some catching up lol😉. Seriously though, pleased for you and enjoy yourself

Lol @Namechangedyorkshire
I can't wait!