Dh has been awful to me for years. No sex for nearly 4 years, got to the point he won’t say ‘hello’ to me when he comes in the house, often wouldn’t hear from him Monday-Friday as he works away, constant criticism and finding fault in everything I say/ do.
For a variety of reasons (mostly the fact we’re from a different culture where divorce would lead to me losing a lot of me social circle) I had decided to live as a ‘surrendered wife’. I just tried to ignore him, focus on the kids and myself and life was perfectly pleasant although I struggled with lack of sex and intimacy.
Anyway at the beginning of the year I developed feelings for someone that I do a hobby with. Not sure feelings are reciprocated and would never cheat anyway but it sort of gave me a kick up the arse to realise I didn’t want to live like this forever. Since then I’ve been getting my ducks in a row and finally at the end of October I told him I wanted him to leave.
I thought dh would get angry but he was absolutely heartbroken. Shocked, sobbing, apologetic, I’ve never seen anything like that from him before. He begged me for one more chance, claimed he’d only been distant as he was frustrated with me for not wanting sex (I turned him down once as I was severely ill, just got out of hospital. He moved out of our bedroom that night and never tried to come back, despite me asking). He claims all his behaviour was due to my apparent rejection of him, he had no idea I felt like this and said he’d do anything to make it right.
Since then he has been an absolute model husband. He’s being just how he was when we first met - affectionate, interested in me and the kids, helping me with housework etc.
But it’s all a trick isn’t it? He’s not going to stay like this is he? Tbh even if he did I’m still so angry with how he treated me for years and I just don’t think I can forgive him.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and made it work? Or left and it’s been much better? I’m just so confused.