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Original poster

Has my partner got a low sex drive?

7 replies

Hollypolitely · 17/12/2019 15:43

Hi - my partner and I have good sex when we have it but that's not very often anymore. I'm interested in people's views - he masturbates about once a week - twice at most. Does he have a low sex drive? Previous partners have masturbated much more frequently but it could just be that we are older now so maybe this is normal when at late forties? I'm not the kind of person who pries and he's openly told me this without prompting. I expressed surprise but he's adament that he doesn't feel the urge to do it more frequently (so he's not lying - no point!)

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 17/12/2019 15:44

I would say that's within normal range in late 40s. Which isn't to say there isn't a large range between once a day and once a month...

Aquamarine1029 · 17/12/2019 15:44

I would be suggesting that he has his hormones checked. If his testosterone is low, his sex drive will be massively affected.

NameChangeNugget · 17/12/2019 15:46

Most men masturbate daily according to surveys, so I’d say he has a low sex drive

TheWorldAsh · 17/12/2019 15:53

Right, I have a high sex drive, I'm in my mid-to-late forties and no I don't masturbate every day!

The amount varies from a little to a lot.

But masturbation is different from actually having sex. So I'd suggest taking to him if your unhappy about the quantity. Having good quality sex is a good place to start from though. At least it's not infrequent poor quality sex.

dontgobaconmyheart · 17/12/2019 15:54

That sounds perfectly fine at 40+ (or at any age)
How do you know the rate at which he masturbates OP? He might do it more (or less) and not tell you. There is no normal really, there is no official 'low sex drive' - you can be sexually aroused but not masturbate so the 'fact' finding here is a bit pointless.

I'f you're not happy with the amount you have sex the only thing you can/should do is tactfully discuss it, you're not unreasonable to want it but he isn't unreasonable to not, as they say.

I wonder if posters on here would accept being ordered to the GP because they weren't sexually aroused or masturbating often enough for their partner to feel their sex drive was average, or how they would feel if their partners argument for more sex was 'oh but other women do, surveys say...'

There is no barometer, just talk and see if there is something yoire not aware of that's causing an issue and go from there! If an adult wants to fo to the GP if they are concerned about their sex drive, that is for them to decide upon.

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/12/2019 16:10

I’m not sure if masturbation is necessarily correlative with a high sex drive. I have a very high sex drive: I’ll have sex several times a day if there’s opportunity and I’m with a partner. When I’m alone, I still think about sex but don’t masturbate every day.

In terms of sex it depends what you mean by “not very often”. If we’re talking once a week or less then I’d term that a low sex drive. Are you happy with it? Is he?

Zzzz19 · 17/12/2019 16:23

Pretty normal late 40’s

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