My partner is refusing to leave our home after

[NeonPalmTree]

Two weeks ago, I discovered that my boyfriend of 2 years had been logging into my social media accounts ( Facebook, Snapchat etc) and reading all of my messages. Turns out he'd been doing this for months and I feel absolutely violated & humiliated. He has been following every private conversation me and my friends/family ever had and I can never trust him again.

I'd honestly been considering breaking up with him for a while because I found him ignorant and lacking empathy. So this was the final straw. I broke up with him and asked him to leave our home. He refused, saying that I'm making a big deal out of things and then he started recalling messages I sent my friends about him (yes I vented about him sometimes) saying HE should be the one who is upset!

Frankly, I have no legal rights to kick him out as we're both on a joint tenancy from a landlord (but it upsets me because I was there first! My boyfriend moved in with me last year). I even messaged my landlord to tell him what happened and he didn't want to get involved. So now I'm having to look for a new place to live but I feel really angry and upset that I'm the one being pushed out here. This was MY home!

I've had 5 viewings so far at various homeshares and none of them are suitable (either too expensive, too small, too dirty, too loud etc). I feel sad that I'm having to go and live with a bunch of strangers all because my boyfriend invaded my privacy!

I don't know what advice I'm looking for! I just needed to vent!

That's really shitty of him.

And he has the cheek to both refuse to move out AND insinuate that he should be the one who is upset?

What an obnoxious little prick.

Look at it this way, at least you can have a fresh start somewhere else (sorry, desperately trying to find a silver lining).

But you are definitely better off without him!

I'm sorry you're going through this.
So if you stay where you are can you afford the rent on your own?.
When does the tenancy run out?

Is it a criminal offence to stalk people on-line?
Have a look into it.
And if you find it then threaten him with the police unless he leaves the house!
I'm sure it is - see if the below rings true at all.

What is stalking?
The Protection of Freedoms Act amended the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 by identifying stalking as a criminal offence. The amendments came into force in November 2012.
The 2012 Act adds two new offences to the 1997 Act. These are stalking and (in its more aggravated form) stalking which causes the victim to fear violence or suffer serious alarm or distress. To be guilty of the offence of stalking the offender must, on at least two occasions, indulge in conduct that causes the victim harassment, alarm or distress. The 2012 Act recognises stalking as harassment that may include persistent and repeated contact or attempts to contact a victim. It provides a list of examples;

• contacting, or attempting to contact, a person by any means
• publishing any statement or other material relating or purporting to relate to a person, or purporting to originate from a person
• monitoring the use by a person of the internet, email or any other form of electronic communication
• loitering in any place (whether public or private)
• interfering with a person property
• watching or spying on a person

THIS IS THE LINK
Let him know you are serious. Use some phrases you find on line regarding stalking and tell him you are going to the police unless he fucks off!

What a horrible man

How long is left on your tenancy?
I am wondering if you became so so boring and grey rock with him, he would eventually leave himself. But the only way to do that would be to ensure everything valuable is no longer in your property and give him no access to any of your things. Right now this is a game to him and you are player 2. I would stop playing his stupid game.

You don’t say how the bills are split or anything or if he can afford it himself.

I agree that if he is in any way threatening you or doing anything to you that is unacceptable then you should log this with 101. You could try getting some legal advice as a strongly worded letter from a solicitor may move him on

Look for a new place and leave the past behind start fresh new home new life.He must have insecurity issues. Good luck

Did you actually add your ex to the tenancy and sign a new agreement, or did you just inform the landlord he was moving in?

That's awful op. I'd cut your losses with the flat and move out ASAP

No I wouldn't be able to afford the rent on my own if I stayed. I'd need to look for a new roommate so either way it's not ideal really. I don't have anyone I know who is looking for a room right now

I know with my tenancy that you're not allowed 'lodgers' anyway so even if you could find someone you'd need to check that.
Maybe a fresh start is what you need. I hope you get something sorted.

Instead of a houseshare, there are a few websites where you list basically who you are and what you're looking for and you sort of match with someone else and rent a flat. So you move in together rather than you joining an existing house.