Getting out of an abusive relationship but what now

[Sc00byd00]

So I’ve been in an abusive relationship for the last 12 years. I’m now getting a divorce. Currently living at the marital home with DS10 and DS7. I’ve realised that i’ve been prevented from making career choices that are best for me because I have had a steady job plus have been cook, cleaner, personal shopper, childminder and basic dogs body for my soon to be ex. I have almost no friends because I have been kept in this slave like state since my son was born. I want to rewrite my life and start again. My ex has taken and used all savings and there will be nothing left from the sale of the house. I need a fresh start and a well paid job. Any advise welcome. I’m 43.

are you trained for anything? if not, would you consider getting a job such as cleaning to fund an online course, so you could qualify to get a better payed job? and would you consider moving, so that you truly have a fresh start? also, if you haven't already, i would draw up a separation agreement using a tool like this, and get your ex to sign it (if you can't afford to see a solicitor). it covers things like child maintenance, how often your dc will visit him etc.

all the best x

Fortunately I have a degree but do want a complete change of career. I’m also worried that i’ll never be able to retire!! Feel like a washed up has been.

what do you have a degree in if you don't mind saying? Look for new jobs, perhaps away from where you live now. have you sought legal advice in regards to the divorce?

Well... the world is now your oyster!!!!!
So you can do what ever you want.
Have a chat with a few agencies and see if they can help initially.
But if you want to do a different degree or retrain then really think about what YOU want to do.
That will be a bit alien to you, but he more you do it the easier it will become.
Have a look on-line and see if there is anything you could do that is self-employed.
Well done on getting a divorce.
Join some local clubs and get to know people in the area.
You'll make new friends.

Hi thanks for your reply. Degree in science. But i’ve specialised and not much opportunity about now happens to be in the same field as my ex. So I really want to start a fresh. I’m getting legal advice. I suppose i’d better wait until everything is finalised but I just want to run away or at least dream of a new life. How do you start somewhere new with no money and two kids to look after? Sorry - just rattling.

Thanks hellsbellsmelons.

Science teachers are in demand, if you have experience in industry too, all the better. You could be eligible for an 'on the job' training course, and some sort of payment to do it. Good luck, you sound very strong x

i agree with @Wallabyone. It might be worth applying for the teachfirst scheme, especially as you have experience in the field, and it would allow you to be paid whilst you work. they are accepting applications for 2020 now

Thanks all. Teaching might be a good option. As long as i’m not too old!

I don't know what science degree you have but have you considered being a vascular scientist? I think you can get on the course through the NHS if you have certain science degrees. They are highly sought after as there are so few. They can pretty much command their own wage as all ours are self employed and they are earning a lot...you don't have to be self employed though. No point wasting a degree and it will definitely pay more than teaching