His best friend told me he was cheating!

[confuseddotcom4]

Hello ladies, honest opinions please! It's a long one!

So I've been seeing this guy for an intense 3 months now. I've met his friends, work colleagues and brother, he has also mentioned me to his mum and wants me to meet her. Before now I've trusted him with everything even when he's gone out to the club with his single friends as I've had no reasons to doubt him until now....

The whole of Wednesday and Thursday we spent quality time together before the manic time of Xmas comes along! Nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he left for work in a bar.

After work he stayed for a few drinks with his roommate and younger brother. Until I went to sleep at 12 he was quickly replying and telling me what was going on including the fact that his best friend, who struggles with mental health and a drinking problem, took a girl back upstairs to their flat prematurely.

I was woken in the night and checked my phone to find a messenger message from his best friend saying that 'your partner is currently cheating on you thought you should know I can't stand it he's my g but'.

This sent me into complete confusion and after finally getting through to him at 7 am he explained that his brother and him started talking to some old school friends (who were apparently lesbians) and invited them both back upstairs and those were the voices his best friend would've heard and he told me he didn't cheat.
He went to speak to his mate and didn't reassure me or see how I was until I rang him at 12 to see what the deal was.

I had a reply from his best friend later in the day apologising saying he doesn't remember sending me the message or searching me on Facebook.

I don't know who to believe. My partner - who only told me about the girls once I pressed him on why his friend would've thought that. Or his friend - who went through all the effort to let me know when he was with another woman.

Did my partner tell his best friend to deny everything or is my partner telling the truth?

I've been in a situation like this before but it was my best friend telling me.
Go for your gut feeling otherwise your mind will keep going back to this situation. I believed my best friend and it was one of the worst decisions I made as my friend now confessed it was all a lie due to her jealously

Is there any chance his best friend is jealous of you and the relationship?

It all sounds very childish (how old are you all?) but to be honest I’d be questioning the friend’s motives for telling you, regardless of whether he was cheating or not. You’re a girlfriend of a few weeks, the friend has no loyalty to you, why would he risk his long term friendship to tell you your boyfriend was cheating even if it was true? Sounds like he’s trying to cause trouble so he can work up to being your shoulder to cry on and get into your pants.

I think you’d be better off out of the whole situation. It doesn’t really matter whether your boyfriend is or has cheated, he behaves in a way you don’t like with other women (who may or may not just be friends) and has a crowd of other friends who like to stir up trouble. In the long run you’re going to end up paranoid and anxious whether or not any cheating has actually gone on.

@rosetinted442 I'm not too sure as I've only met the friend once. My boyfriend frequently expresses his hate for cheating and doesn't condone it in the slightest. Is this all a farce to hide what he did?

Get out the situation, I couldn't stand that.

Yes it's a farce!
ALL cheaters use that line.
It's early on in your relationship.
Stop wasting time on this cheater.
You will now be forever wondering what he is up to after his shift etc....
Very convenient that it was 2 girls and 2 guys but the girls were of course 'lesbians'!
You'd be a total mug to believe that heap of bullshit!

The only way you'll find out is by sitting down and having a calm honest conversation with him and if at any point you feel his lying you've got to make the decision on whether to accept it, stay with him and be paranoid or leave the situation

Oh this all sounds a bit too childish and dramatic doesn’t it? Is this really what you want, silly dramas and trust issues in such early days? No, I don’t think this guy is the one OP, throw him back.

The only way you'll find out is by sitting down and having a calm honest conversation
Oh yeah - because he will tell you the truth because you are asking and being calm about it!
Blimey - the crap some women believe is truly beyond me.

3 months? I'd get out of this one OP - like the pp said you'll be questioning the 'is he/isnt he' thing from now on, do you want to be starting in a relationship like this?

It'll be harder to do further down the road, voice of experience....

From experience throwing away a relationship because of your best friend let alone his friend caused enough heartache when I found out the truth.

Why should she believe the friend who she's once compared to the him? As @ComtesseDeSpair the friend could just be trying to manipulate OP so he can shag her

She's met once*

Yeah he was cheating

Hmm.. difficult. It doesn't seem that clear to me that your bf cheated, and I would be questioning the 'friend' and their motives.. that being said, it's only been a couple of months. Can you be bothered with the aggro?

Yep, he’s not going to say ‘Oh those girls! Yeah, we were just having a little shag’.

He didn’t mention them. His friend has backtracked...but you know the truth.

I've taken a week away from him to think but I'm meeting him tomorrow to talk it through. How will I know the truth? And is it worth trying to have a conversation with the friend to find out the motives?

Go with your gut.

This all sounds a bit upper 6th form

Goodness me, far too much drama for such a short lived romance. I would honestly question whether you want to remain with someone with such friends as these. You both sound very young. I would do as you have, step back a million miles and take it very very slowly. 3 months is very quick to meet family and friends. You will never know the truth I am afraid. This will blight the relationship for sometime until another dramatic episode happens. Guard your heart at all costs.

Yeah your DP got the girl & his friend got pissed because he didn’t and decided to drunk text you. That’s why best friend did it. Get out of it OP. Drunk women are always easy pickings & I’d bet DP does this often. Sorry but there it is.

The drama alone would put me off. They all need to grow up.

Until I went to sleep at 12 he was quickly replying and telling me what was going on

Aside from the cheating situation this ^ is absolutely ridiculous. Why did you need him constantly telling you what was going on?

@teentree I didn't care what he was doing. He just likes to check in and tell me how his evening is going. I've never been possessive or controlling and he never has to answer to me. I guess it's a habit for him, but I don't ask him to make his movements known to me

How old are you?

I'm 24, he's 25

It's been 3 months move on op you dont want to find out 3 years later on he has been cheating on throughout theres no smoke without fire and I believe his friend was telling you the truth.

It all sounds like a lot of childish, ridiculous dramz I have no time for. Bin them both off and start again.