Wife who catastrophises about her health

[Ian1000]

Advice please.

My wife (52) catastrophises about her health whenever she has pains or feels ill. So far, it’s never been anything serious, but she spends ages on the web self-diagnosing. I usually react by not by dismissing her concerns entirely, but by saying the symptoms are more likely to be caused by something less severe, and strongly recommending she visit the GP.
She doesn’t seem to become particularly nervous about her own diagnoses (I would, if I genuinely thought they were likely), but just talks about the most serious s diagnosis possible (ulcerative colitis, cancer, gallstones).
After (usually) visiting the GP and being assured, she immediately moves on and never reflects on her pessimism/catastrophising.

I’ve tried saying that I think it’s unhealthy for her to catastrophises and spend so long self-diagnoszing on the web, but she turns it round on me and says I just don’t want to hear negativity, that she should be allowed to express herself however she wants, and that the only problem is me not wishing to listen.

Do I just accept her catastrophImg like this (admittededly, it doesn’t seem to cause her too much distress; it’s only me that seems to feel it’s an issue), or is there a better way for me to encourage her to reflect upon how she handles her occasional pains and feelings of illness?
I don’t think it’s just attention seeking; I would give at least as much sympathy and attention if she just said she was really worried about xyz symptoms, without her saying she thinks she has appendicitis, a tumour, or whatever.

I could leave the issue entirely. Is it just her way of ‘preparing for the worst’? Is that healthy/acceptable?
I could try to address it in some way. (I’ve tried to get her to see it as a problem, and something to avoid).
I could even (albeit rather dishonestly) immediately take her catastrophic self-diagnoses very seriously, and make no attempt to re-assure or state alternative, more likely, causes. i.e. just listen and accept. But that seems close to ‘calling her bluff’?

And to the posters that are saying attention seeking etc. The people that actually suffer with this do not think that. It's very real to them
Health anxiety is no different to other forms of anxiety. If hed come on and said his wife wont leave the house due to agoraphobia you wouldnt be saying shes attention seeking

@hannah1992 I agree with you but I think the only reason people are saying that is because the OP says his wife does not seem distressed by these perceived health issues. That in itself is odd.

I would just repeat platitudes without engaging your brain too much. It's surely only annoying if you get dragged into the conversation.
Advise her to make a doctors appt and leave it at that.

I completely agree that it's a form of anxiety and that she should seek help for that. I referred to "pointless negativity" simply because life is too short to spend time obsessing about possible health disasters - if she can get help for her anxiety, she'll be able to make the most of her good health.

Some people aren't lucky enough to still be relatively healthy and mobile at 52.

I think she probably is distressed but doesnt show it. The fact she dashing these things implies shes looking for reassurance. She could well be distressed.

I agree though she needs to get help for it

If she isn’t distressed by it, why is it a problem?
If it’s making you unhappy, OP, maybe owning that would be more effective than telling her she has to change for her own good. If she doesn’t perceive a problem, that’s just going to be irritating.
‘DW, when you self-diagnose with flesh-eating necrotitis, I find that very distressing. Could you keep the speculative diagnoses to yourself till you’ve seen the GP, please?’
I tend to ask Dr Google and note the range of possibilities. That doesn’t mean I have health anxiety, just that I like as much information as possible.

She might have health anxiety disorder which is a mental health condition related to OCD. There's been some pretty unpleasant responses on this thread to be honest, it's an extremely distressing and intrusive condition which often gets worse around the time of menopause.

I think your DW has Health Anxiety. You can google full details. It is totally debilitating. It is a mental illness. She probably is far worse than you know, not wanting to let on the full extent of her constant health worries. In order to be helped she has to make a decision to ‘out’ herself. The GP will be sympathetic. Health Anxiety never goes away but kept under control by CBT & certain anti depressants. It is not a mental disorder which feeds on any attention seeking. It is actually like a form of everlasting torture. Often the Anxiety increases to include the health of other family members too. You will find this difficult to cope with. Try and persuade your DW to seek help. Lastly, as can be seen from self help sites, reassurance is completely useless to anyone suffering from this type of anxiety. The sufferer always believes they can outwit the diagnosis.

You have my sympathy. My mum is the same. Not a day goes by when
she doesn't have a symptom of some illness. She also goes through long periods (years) of obsessing that she has something serious wrong with her. I'm a nurse and it drives me mad.

But hypochondria is a psychiatric illness just like any other. My mum was on antidepressants for a while and seemed much better. Advise your wife to speak to the Dr about health
Anxiety whicj is treatable with medication and CBT.

It is very wearing, I know 😩

It sounds like she has health anxiety, and should the see the GP to get counselling for that.