Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Help with POF

11 replies

Bigben10 · 17/12/2019 02:45

Hi, someone l sent a message to on POF (plenty of fish) later on hid his profile from public search. Because l still have the message in my 'sent' messages l can still view his profile. My question is can l still see when he is goes actively 'online'. Thanks 🙂

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 17/12/2019 03:01

He has probably rumbled that you are stalking him.

It's okay to leave a relationship you are unhappy in. You don't need 'proof'.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 17/12/2019 04:12

That's a bit creepy. He's not interested. Just let it go.

Tryalittletenderness · 17/12/2019 08:20

You may still be able to reply to the message.

Original poster

Bigben10 · 17/12/2019 14:29

If only that was the case. I'm actually doing it for a friend. He's in a relationship with her after meeting her on there and says he's deleted his account! He's obviously not, he's blocked her so it looks like he's deleted it, and hidden his profile so friends he knows of hers can't see it. But he doesn't know who l am so so not blocked me as l can still see his profile in sent messages. I just need to know if l can see his profile will l also see when he's actively online, then we have ultimate proof he's not only still on there but actively online to so still seeking out women. He can talk his way out of anything he's very convincing.

OP posts:

GiveHerHellFromUs · 17/12/2019 14:31

He's lied to her anyway so if I was her I'd finish it just for that. It's not exactly a good basis for a relationship.

wellthatwasthat · 17/12/2019 14:36

Bit confused, why do you want proof that he's still on there? Is he in a relationship with your friend?

GiveHerHellFromUs · 17/12/2019 19:01

@wellthatwasthat read the first two lines of the update

Original poster

Bigben10 · 17/12/2019 23:47

Yes he is! He could make an excuse to why he hid it saying he thought that meant it's deleted or he forgot, even though my friend specifically said delete and don't hide to which he agreed he had. More proof the better. Since the profile has been hidden l can only see the profile (because l previously messaged him obviously) but nothing saying online. With crafty people you got to outdo them. It's important to my friend to get all the facts so she can make the right decision. She really likes this guy and has to be sure, trust is a big part of a relationship and she needs to know whether to stay or go.

OP posts:

wellthatwasthat · 18/12/2019 13:55

@GiveHerHellFromUs Cross-posted, the update wasn't there whilst I was writing.

ComtesseDeSpair · 18/12/2019 14:56

Plenty of people hide rather than delete their profiles because it’s easier to reactivate a dormant profile than to create a whole new one in the event things don’t work out with the person you’re seeing. If it’s hidden it means he isn’t going to be seen by anyone else, so in that sense it’s as good as deleted.

But your friend doesn’t need “all the facts” to end the relationship if she feels this isn’t good enough. She needs to do both herself and him a favour and call time, she’ll end up driving herself mad with paranoia and insecurity and driving him mad with accusations and questioning.

1moresurvey · 19/12/2019 00:11

He either doesn't think it is going to go anywhere with your friend so keeping his account dormant.
Still playing the field and has blocked her and hidden his account, unaware of her/your stalking.
Either way is that someone she/you really wants to be with? He sounds like someone who you'll be back on here for more advice over sooner or later.

Flip