Confused about work colleague

[Lady35]

Hi all,

As the title suggests, I am a bit confused with a colleague of mine. We are both women and single. We got along well at work so she invited me with her 6 year old son to a bonfire night. I had only known her for 2 weeks but we had a good time. She then tried to set me up on a double date (!) a week later and she eventually messaged, after trying to guess my type, if I was into women. I said yes and she said nothing more about it but added she's only interested in men for she can't see herself with a woman. She also asked me some personal questions on it. I thought it was a bit strange why she wanted to know so much and felt like she knew already that I was crushing on her.

Next few weeks and I invite her for a lunch/catch up and she declines saying she'll let me know. I leave it be and a week later of silence she messages me asking how i am and she'd love to go for lunch or catch up sometime. I say sure and try to arrange a time but since it's now coming up to Christmas it's a busy period. She then tells me she has no money due to variety of reasons so I offer to talk about in person rather than over whatsapp and she declines saying she'll be fine and thanks for the offer.

So, I have briefly seen her at work now that I'm back after a short break. We only message one another in attempt to set up something, otherwise we only talk at work once a week. I feel confused because she shows she likes me and then doesn't bother to follow through. It's almost as if she wants to be friends and then backs out of it.

Can anyone offer any insight?

Not really. I'm sure she likes you, feels friendly towards you but probably has other mates so you're on the periphery. That's life I'm afraid but I expect you've been the same at times with other people. Anything more than friendship is a definite no no with her though, she has as good as told you so. I hope she isn't 'playing' with your affection but I have no reason to suspect that. Just be a bit careful and live your iife.

My impression would be- she knows you fancy her and she is intrigued, but keeps changing her mind/unsure about going forward with it. I know that doesn't gel with her claiming she can't see herself with a woman. Or she's just intellectually intrigued by it as it's so different from her own experience, hence the personal questions.

The alternative is she's one of those very retro people who aren't comfortable/are weird about someone being a lesbian, but they are hopefully fairly few and far between now.

If she’s only been into men all her life, even if she likes you, this situation must be very confusing for her. She needs time to adjust to her feelings and yes, it is possible that she is pulling back because she may have an internal fight between heart and reason.
My advice, she is a work colleague, don’t go there. You never know where life will take you and will only make things more difficult in the long run. But if you decide to walk away, clue her up on your reasons. If you want more, then keep writing to her. Maybe she doubts herself when it comes to reading women.
I have been in her shoes and it is not pleasant.

Thank you all for the replies.

I should mention that she is leaving for another job after New Year so there won't be any awkwardness at work.

@Bluerussian Blunt - but probably the words I need to hear! Thank you.

@Interestedwoman I was thinking this may be the case but maybe it is just my wishful thinking! She told me love is love and she doesn't mind if someone is gay.

@One1 Interesting to get another perspective. You're right and I will think about how she may be feeling confused as well.