Situation with PIL - WWYD

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In a nutshell, my PIL are xenophobic - think 'all those immigrants that have come here and have invaded Britain' type of talk. They are keeping their ideas less and less to themselves so last time I saw them, FIL went on a rant about immigrants to my teen ds and my nephew.
Mil just brushed things under the carpet 'ah politics. We'd be better not mention it wouldnt we?'.

I am an EU national (and therefore an immigrant), my dcs are dual nationals.

Until now I have said little to keep the peace (last time I did, MIL was most upset I dare say this was unacceptable).
DH says that sort of talk is unacceptable, that his parents are totally unreasonnable. But he wont say anything to them.

And FIL has cancer and is terminally ill (even though how much time he has left is unknown)

I'm now wondering what to do tbh. DH seems to expect that I will stop any contact with them. But in some ways, I am not happy to have the dcs go to their house and be submitted to that as it makes them very unconfortable (ds1 tried desperatly to change the subject of the conversation to no avail). As Dh will not do anything (he knew when it was happening...), Im not sure i want them to go wo me.
On the other side, I dont particlularly want to see them. Ive lost all respect tbh. I found the talk insulting and a personal attack (even I am sure i will get the 'oh but not you' answer). So did ds1.

So far I have said that i they strat going on about anything ike this in our house, I will tell them to leave.
Im not sure what else to do....

Sorry to stir up the feelings!

I'm British but live abroad. After I broke up with my dh (well, during the process) I put more effort into going out and getting new, different friends. They gave me a different perspective. I realised that many of the issues I'd had with my exh were not cultural issues after all. I should have challenged him more, rather than thinking his behaviour was just normal for these parts. I also realised that his dickish friends were not representative of local society.

I'd really recommend going out and trying hard to find some new acquaintances - don't have to be BFF, just for a better perspective. Arty/open-minded/pro-EU types!

I realised that many of the issues I'd had with my exh were not cultural issues after all
That too !!

I'm married to an EU national and my kids will have dual citizenship. My husband has been here ages and has picked up a British accent and has a first name that is also common in the UK so a lot of people forget or don't realise and slip up and say things. If they're people I have to remain civil to I just have a jokey/ sarcastic response like 'ah yes DH should just fuck off back to his own country shouldn't he, how dare he come over here and steal me and get a decent job and pay high taxes for 20 years, what a cheek!'. And I normally get a 'oh no I didn't mean him' response or a 'oh no I didnt mean (western European) country - they're ok' type response. Which is just as insulting really.

I think your only other options are, avoid them, or do what your MiL thinks and avoid all talk of immigration. There is no point trying to change his mind now.

FIL goes on a rant about immigrants

You- “Are you saying you want me and the kids to leave England?”

his response-

No-

“Then don’t bring it up again infront of me or the kids!”

Yes-

“Goodbye, we know when we aren’t welcome”

Other response along the lines of you are ok but the others...

“I’m from another country and I don’t want to hear it”

Then if he brings it up again I’d take the kids and leave. Repeat every time until he stops

Does he also think that some foreigners are “more foreign” than others? I have encountered that when living as a non-EU citizen in a very outwardly-seeming “tolerant” country (that is more openly racist than anywhere else I have ever been), but because my family and I are mostly blonde, and all Caucasian, the 25 year old at customs said “Oh, it’s okay - you’ve all got blue eyes...” while we were fishing around for our resident’s permits, and my DH had to hold me back....

Oh I’m sure they would say something like this just seeing they were convinced I was now British, just because I had been here so long. I’m not sure but maybe they thought it would happen by osmosis?

I’m starting to have a clearer idea of how to handle things.
I need to have a chat with both dcs and tell them it’s ok not to brush things under the carpet. I like your answers Blonde and will be using some of them as an example of what they can say. Unfortunately they will need tools to handle that type of situation, even outside the family.

Still in two minds about whether I want to make the effort to see them etc.....or just go NC or LC. Or making it clear I will not accept that sort of talk in front of me or the dcs and avoid politics at all costs.
It very certainly has damaged the relationship we had. No doubt about it.

My kids and I have a no-tolerance policy too. I assumed my husband did as well, until his delightful mother came to stay with her new-found homophobic and xenophobic beliefs that she had adopted to suit those of her new husband and his wider family. Boy, has that caused problems!!!

(But HE’S vastly outnumbered, and we have a cunning plan, should he ever “surprise” us and bring her home from the airport again!)

@justilou1, have you gone NC with your MIL?

Hell to the yeah! I haven’t spoken to that witch in nearly three years, and it’s been really rather blissful. Unfortunately DH keeps vacillating between what he remembers depending on his own agenda. (We are in counselling and this is a recurring theme..... - she also called our nearly 13 year old DD a slut because she was experimenting with makeup at home, and he chose to forget that to avoid confronting her. Rose-coloured glasses are pretty flexible when it means avoiding confrontation or not seeing what you don’t want to see.) Meanwhile, we live in Aus, and she is on the other side of the country. Literally about 6,500km away. Not sad about it. The kids hate her because they have had other issues with her behaviour as well....