Finally leaving and need advice on mortgage etc

[dd0517]

For the past year or 2 i have had numerous conversations about my partner having to spend more time with our son. Hes 7yo and hes missing out on him growing up.
Last year he started hanging out with his old pal, going fishing every weekend not taking our son like he used to. So he agreed to spend more time with him but of course it was fine for a couple weeks and thats it back to him being his own person. Then he got a motorbike in january, and slowly started spending more and more time with the bike. Found biker friends and for months now they have been out constantly. I finally had enough at the beginning of october, i sat him down and told him this is the last time we are having this chat. If he cant make our son his number one priority then he needs to leave. I also told him that night about us, about the fact there is nothing there between us anymore we are miserable and basically friends who share a home and a kid. I told him it would not effect me if he chose to leave as i have brought our son up single handedly and can continue being the best mum i can be and it didn't even phase him!
It has been 10 weeks since our chat, since he made the false promises and out of those 10 weekends he has spent 2 with our son and 8 with his biker pals, not just that, he literally soends every single night in this house on the biker group chat! He is never off his phone. Yet when hes with them he cant even message me back!. Its just a disgrace now and i cannot keep living like this.
I have already made my mind up and that we both deserve better but its still just a sad feeling that we are splitting up. I would not start anything during xmas period i feel my sons life is going to be effected as is so let him have one last happy xmas. But after xmas/ny im going to speak to him.
Its me that takes him to his dentist, doctors appointments, i do his homework every week with him, i put him to bed every single night. I cant go to my friends without taking him because partner is always out. He is living the single life and basically coming here to have dinner and sleep.
Now for the main reason i need advice, we have a joint mortgage. And i want to know what i can do? I was thinking of remortgaging and getting a higher amount and keeping the house in my name alone and Give my partner money so he can put a deposit on his own place. Im just not sure how a remortgage works.
I don't agree in being bitter i want us to split but i want to be on good terms so my son can still have his dad in his life, however i can 100% guarantee that in a few months he will stop making the effort to see my son in a bid to hurt to me. I just dont know how to go about it and do i need to involve a solicitor?
Although i may sound like i know what my plan is i am also heartbroken that its come tot his but i cannot live like this anymore.

Firstly, do you earn enough to take on the mortgage by yourself?
How long have you had your mortgage? Do you have a fixed rate, if so do you have early repayment charges? How much would you need to give him?

Well we got the mortgage june 2017, and when we applied i found out i could have up to 80k on my wage alone and together it was upto 167K then so im assuming i still can?

It is a fixed rate of 5 years and im sure i do need an early repay charge but will need to double check.

I have no clue how much i would give him to be honest. In our home it was either me that got the loan to buy furniture and i paid it, or it was handed to us by my parents. He paid for new flooring and built his own shed out the back. Im not going to be a bitch i want to be as fair as i can be so i can either give him a few thousand (either from remortgaging or a loan) or he can take half of contents in house.

I dont have great credit either because its me thats got the loans for things but its fair not poor.

Thank you so much for replying

Yes see a solicitor.
How much equity do you have in your home? Your husband could be entitled to half of this so more than a few thousand.

You won’t have repayment charges if you remortgage with same bank. I have two mortgages they kept the original chunk on original rate as were on great deal and then gave me a second mortgage for the extra. Were some fees involved getting ex off deeds and doing remortgage but used the banks solicitor and was all done online so wasn’t too expensive and costs can be added to mortgage if needed. You can also think about extending the mortgage term to make monthly payments cheaper.
Good to compare what other banks offer but mine offered me a good deal to stay

Well depends on which mortgage you ended up taking out. If it was 80 or below and you believe you can afford it, should be fine. If you took a joint 167 mortgage, then on your own you're not going to be able to reach that monthly repayment I suspect.

Also if you're married, I believe its a 50/50 entitlement, unless you had something drawn up like a tenants in common agreement or similar to state otherwise. You need to see what equity is in the house, what you're entitled to legally and then look at your income and what you can afford a month, then look at mortgage amounts from there

I recently just bought out my ex. Our house was valued at 100k with 85 left on the mortgage. We made an agreement that he would take 4k. I had remortgage in my own name and went through an independent mortgage broker who got me a better deal with a different bank. They use an in-house solicitor so everything was dealt with through them. I had to get approved for a mortgage in my own name, without this being approved the bank would not let me take it on. If there isn't mich equity on your house then hopefully he won't be entitled to a whole lot and you can remortgage the higher amount.

Bit of advice, I also was not bitter and took on all the solicitor fees myself. Unfortunate my ex became very desperate wanting his money and although very civil at the start became very nasty. Look after yourself and be firm, the more you do unfortunately the more you get taken advantage of. You owe him nothing and this situation is caused by him. Keep looking after yourself and your son and don't worry about giving him extra for his deposit. Good luck

Thank you very much for all the replies i really appreciate it.
We are not married we just partners and living together. Not sure about the equit i have just started speaking to someone at the bank for the best advice. My only issue would be the fact that i dont have great credit. Its not bad but not good. Just hope i can.
I am also going to be as civil as i can be but i also know what he is like. Last year my neighbour left her husband and said shes taking him for everything and my partner said to me "well f her he should just stop seeing the wane that will get to her"
Which of course caused an argument as i said so to punish me you would stop seeing our son?
He tried to backtrack but it was already said! And i know he would turn nasty. There is a lot of things to look over and i just thank you all for the advice.