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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Going it alone

8 replies

Ralphie86 · 16/12/2019 09:10

My fiancé and I broke up in 2017, since then I’ve had a handful of short lived relationships, each ending in heartbreak. I’m 32 in the spring and petrified that I’m not going to find someone and settle down in time to have children is it too soon to be worrying this much? I’m really beating myself up. My friends have all had babies albeit some aren’t with the fathers anymore. I never imagined I’d be in this situation at this age and it’s really eating me up.

OP posts:

hellsbellsmelons · 16/12/2019 11:25

Yes it's too soon to be worrying.
You are young.
Please take your time.
Do NOT settle!
Enjoy life for what it is right now.
Stop putting pressure on yourself to find someone.
It just won't happen if you do that.

Musti · 16/12/2019 11:29

Yes too young. I met the father of my first child at 31 and the father of my other children at 35. Had my 4th child at 40.

Original poster

Ralphie86 · 16/12/2019 12:17

Thank you for your replies. I know I’m putting pressure on myself and that won’t help things along but it just seems so dire at the moment. Especially reading everyone’s stories of ghosting etc I suppose not all happy endings make their way in to MN!

OP posts:

JazzyJelly · 16/12/2019 13:01

I feel very similarly OP, so sending hugs. I have wondered about adoption, have you considered that? Not easy, I know.

Original poster

Ralphie86 · 16/12/2019 13:10

Is it possible to adopt if you’re single? X

OP posts:

Livebythecoast · 16/12/2019 13:26

Yes you can adopt if you're single. You can also foster too.

ohwheniknow · 16/12/2019 13:30

Bear in mind that people with "happy endings" are less likely to be coming online to start threads asking for support/advice about it

Original poster

Ralphie86 · 16/12/2019 15:03

@ohwheniknow you’re right. There are fewer posts about the happy endings and I’d do well to remember that doesn’t mean that there aren’t many people that have been in my situation and got their happy ending. It’s just I thought I had it all, fiancé and own home. The natural next step was starting a family. Then when I had it all taken away from me (I now realise it was by far the best outcome in the long run) I’ve started to panic it’s too late to get all that back. Most men I’ve met have ended up being entirely inappropriate and all the great ones seem taken

I’m having therapy as I know I have issues that need addressing x

OP posts:

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