Help me work out my exit

[choc71]

Background (name changed): Married 20 years, have a house (paid off mortgage jointly, is in both our joint names), 3 children (17, 14, 9). It has felt like a loveless marriage for a very long time, no intimacy for 10+ years.

My parents have signed over 1/2 their house to me for when they pass on (will be approx £150 k)
How do I protect this money so that it comes just to me?
How do I go about asking for a separation and then divorce?
I do not want to have to fight for custody of my children, neither will I refuse him access.
I just don't know where to start, so any advice would be gratefully received, thank you.

You need a solicitor. That's where you start and I wouldn't delay.

Why do you say you wouldn't delay, Aquamarine1029? That's made me nervous.

Yes - solicitor.
Money that you expect to gain as inheritance is easier to protect than actual inheritance - this is possibly why Aquamarine said don’t delay.

Otherwise - you file papers, solicitor can help and you just jump.
And it won’t be easy, and he will be angry and say all kinds of nasty things, most likely. You need to be ready for it mentally.
Depending on your financial situation you might need to sell the house - or not.
In your place - I’d first think of all the options post separation and how yours and kids lives would change. Just so that when discussions start you would be prepared.
Would the house have to be sold? Can you stay int he area - or do kids have to move schools? Would H and you have them 50/50?
Or is he the kind to agree to live in the same house and coparent for a while?
A lot of practical questions would come up with separation.

Your other option, of course, is wait a little longer until at least the bigger kids grow up and leave home. And focus on getting happier yourself - hobbies, friends. Maybe even a ‘special friend’. What people call checking out of the marriage. This way has a benefit of giving your kids a bit of time and sparing them a big fallout.
May not be possible. Just wanted to mention that as an option. Very un-MN but in real life used a lot.

I've just done exactly this and left with kids - and when my Dads estate was being dished out it went to a separate bank account so my Mrs couldn't get hands on it.

Basically you arrange a memorandum of separation (in Scotland anyway thats what happens) which is a piece of paper from the court to say reason and date for your official separation.
If inheritance not mentioned then ex partner not due any.

Access to kids and maintenance are separate of each other - try get an agreement written down, as she refusing to pay currently so needlessly messy.

In summary - phone a family solicitor today and ask for a free 30minute initial appointment. That will answer your questions and get you on the road to redemption!