Little signs that don’t feel right in relationship

[Delilahlegold1]

I want to know wether Iya just my anxiety/all in my head or little signs telling me something’s not right.
I’ve always had the feeling I love my fiancé more, I think it’s paranoia mixed with my Anxiety and low self esteem issues. I have been with my fiancé for about 6 years and we are engaged he asked
Me about 2 years ago and are saving for a wedding. We both work a lot so only see each other in the evenings and weekends. Little things I pick up on are he says “love u” instead of “I love you”. Sounds so odd but I just prefer I love you and I don’t know why. I text him a lot and he only
Responds to a few of the texts. If I ask if he’s ok he just says yes, that’s it, doesn’t ask if I am. It’s rare he says yes are you.
It’s like he also doesn’t like affection as whenever I touch him he moves away, he hardly ever gives me a full on snog and sex has kind of dwindled away lately. I don’t suspect he’s cheating as I have in the past and never found anything on his phone plus he is always working.
Am I just being crazy?
Apart from that he’s a great boyfriend and one of the loveliest people I know.

You really don't sound like you're calm and content in this relationship OP. You know someone doesn't have to be an arsehole for the relationship not to work?

One of my exes is probably the loveliest person I've ever met but it just didn't feel quite right for either of us. We couldn't even articulate why, we just knew it wasn't.

We were both absolutely devastated but it was the right thing to do and we parted with love and kindness after four years. Never even had a row.

I think there's a tendency now to think one party has to be abusive or cheat in order for a break up to be justified. That just isn't true.

Two years in and not married yet I'd be seriously reassessing things before committing years more or a wedding.

My response is going to he in 2 parts.

My bf prefers 'i love you' to 'love you' too and he mentioned it a few months ago, how it means much more. So, i make the effort to say 'i love you' or similar as often as i can - as thats what we do to make our partners happy and feel secure, it costs nothing afterall. Have you asked your fiance to do this?

The biggest red flag for me here is the lack of affection and the moving away. Its either his feelings have changed towards you to a more "friends" type feeling OR you arent compatible as he doesnt like affection and you need it.
The rest just adds to my point really.

It sounds like the spark has gone for him.

Have a good chat with him lovely. Don't ask him if he's okay on text... make a good time to sit down and discuss things properly. Write down some points beforehand if you feel you're the type of person to just get emotional and not be able to articulate what you're wanting to say (I do this)
Tell him it's important to you to understand how he feels in the relationship before you continue any further as you've got nagging doubts that are eating you up. Hopefully it's just him being unaware and a bit insensitive. Good luck xx

What kind of upbringing did he have? I’d suggest you start reading up on attachment theory. Google avoidant dismissal (which sounds like your boyfriend) and anxious preoccupied (which sounds like you). If your BF fits the profile of avoidant dismissal, I would suggest you get rid ASAP and move on with your life. Else you’ll be spending years of pain and hurt. People with these types of attachment styles are emotionally damaged/distant and it takes lots of therapy and self work to overcome the things you’re describing. The not texting back etc it’s all classic signs of an attachment disorder. Run. Far away, find somebody with a secure attachment style who will give you the relationship you need