Feel like I made a fool of myself

[summer151]

Separated for over a year and a half. Although very stressful looking after 2 kids pretty much on my own, I feel like things getting a little better. Xmas party Friday nite and during the nite while talking to colleague about how hard it has been, I started to cry and got my jacket and bag and tried to sneak away before anyone noticed but meet a few other colleagues on way out and they noticed I was crying and they got taxi for me as I was inconsolable. I'm sure they were all taking about me after i left. A similar thing happened last year where they all knew I was upset and left early. Its like I manage to hold it all together all year and try to b positive but then after a few drinks on a nite out, its like a wave of sadness comes over me and I can't stop crying. I know this is the effect of the drinks on me. It was my only nite out all year and thought I'd b so happy to b out but feel like such a pathetic saddo now😔

Being drunk can be embarrassing for many, many reasons. A bit of a drunken blub is by far not the worst thing that could happen. At least now you know the effect it has on you, you can make the decision to totally avoid it next time. And don't worry, they'll all have been focussing on their own embarrassing moments, not dwelling on yours.

Wow, you are being really rough on yourself.
You have been through tough times and you still keep on going.

If your colleagues know what you have been through they will hopefully be kind and not talk about you, if they are spiteful behind your back , they will have proved their worth and are not worth knowing.

Be kind to yourself and love yourself more. You are doing a great job on your own and you need to be gentle with yourself.

Honestly they'll have only been worried about you and nobody will even remember tomorrow. There'll be much better gossip than a bit of a drunken cry.

I hope things keep getting better for you x

Thanks for all the replies. Yeah maybe I'm being a bit hard on myself. Just feel so depressed about how my life has turned out but hopefully things will work out in the long run. Just hate the fact my colleagues know I'm struggling I suppose and don't want them to look at me with pity.

Everybody has their own things going on at home OP so hopefully you work colleagues will understand this.

Well done for making it through a tough time, be kind to yourself

Have you been to see your GP hun? You sound quite low. I would recommend going. It doesn't have to be this way. xxx If you've been, please go back so they can try something else. There are loads of things they can try. Best wishes xx

I'd suggest pop into the shops before work and buy some nice biscuits and be bright breezy and thankful you have such lovely work colleagues when you go in tomorrow.
I'm sure it isn't just pity, it's that they like you and they care.

Sounds like you needed a cry. And no wonder - you’ve been working so so hard. I’m certain your colleagues would have been moved by your tears and only wished to support you.

We all cry - then included. No one will judge you. So stop giving yourself a hard time.

I remember having a drunken cry at a works night out - it only brought me closer to the colleagues I was with.

So please instead of being mean to yourself, think of one thing you can do tomorrow that will make you feel good - give yourself something you like - treat yo’ a elf!

Tomorrow just say “thanks so much for your support when I got emotional - bloody wine always gets me that way!”

‘Treat yourself’ - no elves required 😆 unless you really like elves!

You will not be the first or last person to randomly blub at the Christmas party. Heck you left early - for all you know there were multiple other colleagues in years after you left! Cut yourself some slack and don't worry about it.

*tears not years!

I wouldn’t worry about it, people are generally too busy worrying about how they come across themselves. It’s a bigger deal to you than it is to them. Give yourself a break.

Thanks everyone. Uve helped me to
Not feel as as silly as I was feeling. Yeah I think I mite b a bit depressed overall. Visiting gp might be a good idea..