Is she hiding something

[YeahWellWhoKnew]

My girlfriend and I have been together a year. She has a Male friend she used to live next door to that she meets every now and again and they message each other. I'm absolutely fine with this friendship. She told me that the guy tried it on with her a few years ago so all I've asked is that she's not alone with him in his house. She agreed to this.

About a month ago I was in the loo and her Fitbit that she left on the cistern lit up and I saw a message from this guy, there was nothing in it, it said something like, let me know xxxx

I didn't mention this to her as there was no issues. He came up in conversation a few days ago and she said to me that she hadn't heard from him since the summer, I told her well that's not true because I saw a message come thru on your Fitbit so why did you say you hadn't heard from him.

This caused a bit of an argument so I said to her, well if there is no issue let me see the conversation between you, but she told me that she deleted the whole conversation between them. So that set alarm bells ringing, why lie to me and say you haven't heard from him and why delete the whole conversation... she claims she deleted it because I wasn't comfortable with their relationship and says she doesn't remember the message a few weeks ago.

I'm trying really hard to accept what she says but it makes no sense. She says hes a friend, I don't care that they message so why delete the conversation? One of them must have said something that crossed the like for her to delete the conversation surely

Why should she not be alone in the house with him?

Sounds like lies to me.

Yeah, why can’t she go to his house? You know people can have sex with other people in the house!

If you had an issue, why didn’t you bring it up when you saw the message?

I’d be very pissed off if dh threw in my fags that he’d seen my text messages without my knowledge. I’ve got nothing to hide.

Face! Not fags.

Tne reason I asked her not to go to his house is because that's where he tried it on, and I'm not comfortable with his intentions.

And I didn't have an issue with the message because there was no problem. I trusted her so the message was insignificant its only now when she says she hasn't heard from him its significant

You don’t need to trust his intentions. You need to trust hers.

Her watch was flat on the back of the loo and the message came up when I was standing there. At the time there was nothing to bring up to her because I assumed they messaged and there was no problem

The problem is she says she's not heard from him and lied

She's a liar and is hiding conversations and contact with him from you. Why would she do that? Because she knows you wouldn't like what you saw. Nobody deletes proof of innocence. They're cheating or planning to. Leave.

Absolute hypocrite responses on this post. If OPs partner was a guy most of these responses would be calling him a liar.

OP, sounds fishy to me tbh. I’d trust your instincts on this one

Absolute hypocrite responses on this post.

My response would be identical if the sexes were reversed.

She lied, she's covering something up.

I'd think this was strange. Ok let me know- isn't just a hi how are you doing message. It's a whole conversation. Given you didnt say you had an issue with messaging him, why message him then delete them because you wouldnt like it?

At the very least, she has basically admitted she was doing something she assumed you wouldnt like and then hid it from you.

How did it come up in conversation that she said she hadn't heard off him?

Sorry it does sound like she is hiding something. Let me know does sound like some sort of arrangement was being made

She just sounds sneaky. You don’t delete innocent messages, or lie about them.

Sorry op just to let you know their's other females out their. Don't waste your time and move on. You don't need to stay with anyone who is willing to lie and deceive you.

I can't really remember how he came up in conversation... she just said she hadn't heard from him. She even today claims not to remember the message I saw and says she deleted the whole conversation because she knew I didn't like him and didn't feel the need to keep it because shed doesn't hear from him often.

She basically says believe me or don't. I haven't done anything wrong so tough

She’s talking bollocks. She’d remember an idea of what they’d spoken about. And I find it highly unlikely she deletes all the conversations on her phone from people she ‘doesn’t hear from often’
Either she’s lying and untrustworthy, or you’re paranoid and she’s protecting herself as best she can (not saying this is the case but we’ve only had your side).. either way, no point in the relationship imo.

She’s hiding something.

Tough one. Sounds like she's lying and hiding they have spoken. It could be because she's interested in him. I would just say when I was in an abusive relationship I had to basically delete everything because even a text from a male cousin would set them off into a 'you're a cheating slag' tirade.

So... depends on your relationship

she claims she deleted it because I wasn't comfortable with their relationship and says she doesn't remember the message a few weeks ago

Seems legit.

How do you show your "discomfort" with their relationship?

So this is the same woman whose sexual past you disapprove of, correct?

And the way she dealt with her sexual assault. Because you dont want to think of her being with other men besides you...

Can you not just leave her alone? You clearly dont trust her or think shes a good person. Cut her loose and date a virgin

She knows she deleted the conversation but can't remember it? Of course she's lying!

FWIW I trust my DP but if someone tried it on with him I wouldn't be happy him then going to their house alone either.