What should I do?

[Singletomingle]

I have been messaging a women for 3/4 weeks via OLD and we seem to get on well, we seem to have everything in common and the same opinions across the board. She has 3 children and no dads involved so obviously her free time is limited, I've suggested meeting and she was very keen but I've suggested multiple times and so far not even a maybe. Then it seems this week her messages have got shorter and more abrupt. I Messaged last but now no reply for 4 days.
I know her children were ill and its Christmas time so busy for everyone so understand a random guy isn't her priority. However I don't know if she just isn't interested or if I've done something wrong. The worst thing is I figure that although shes not that into me I feel like I'm ghosting her by just leaving it.

You send her a final text to say she's obviously not into you, and you won't contact her again if she doesn't reply. Wish her a nice life. If she doesn't reply, you know she's not interested.

That sounds really harsh its not really that she doesnt always reply but her replies tend to be 1 or 2 words always friendly and agreeable though which is why I don't know what to do.

It doesn’t sound like it’s going anywhere Op. if she liked you she’d probably make the time to message. Either that or the case is that she likes you but simply doesn’t have the time for someone else in her life.

I’d be polite and message and just lay your cards on the table and tell her how you are feeling and that you’d rather call it a day if she doesn’t think it’s going to go anywhere. Maybe let her know you understand she might be busy with family etc?

You’ll get your answer then and you can either move on or continue if you are both happy to rather than wasting time pondering over it

Sorry op but she Sounds like she's using you as a pen pal with no intension of meeting up. Unfortunately this has become the dating game

If she's got three children she'll be very busy right now, school plays, school carol concerts, kids Christmas parties, kids wanting to do Christmas stuff like visiting Santa, Christmas markets etc. Plus she'll have Christmas shopping and wrapping loads of gifts. Her children are about to get two weeks off school and maybe she doesn't have child care for them. It's probably the worst time to start seeing somebody. Why not wait until the New Year to meet up, when life has returned to normal for her.

Why not say you assume she is busy with the kids over Christmas and how about you get back in touch in the new year to try and arrange a coffee/ drink unless she would prefer to leave things here in which case all the best?

That way you're not waiting for her to message, and if she does say no thanks or not reply, you have drawn a line under it?

Obv don't get your hopes up for a stranger too much for the new year but at least you will be giving one more try at a less hectic time.

Different reasons (no kids) but I suddenly became very occupied when I had been chatting to a couple of men online. I didn't want to end the conversations but it was a bit stressful having their expectations on top of everything else. One said this kind of thing and it felt refreshingly mature and thoughtful.

Crossover with Pilot had this open for ages, sorry!!

Thanks for the advice will give it a go

I wouldn’t throw in the towel just yet OP. Give her the option of ending it cordially (“I’ll understand completely if you don’t want to get involved right now” or suchlike) and take it from there. If there is no dad about, the chances are she’s had some bad luck in the past, and is wary. Also, it’s a frenetic time of year as others have said. Whilst the short messages are understandably concerning you, don’t just assume she’s uninterested. Not yet.