Is this crazy? has anyone done any of these things?

[user63212]

Hard to describe how sad I feel about not having a marriage or a family. both are things i want in life.

the last 18 months i have been single and has three things almost start but didnt go anywhere (i called it off) and have had many many dates. at 34 (35 in 6 months) i have now accepted that this could be it for me - i may never find someone.

i am too distraught tonight to consider what route to go down to have a child alone as i think i would find this extremely hard to do. i would need to emotionally prepare myself for it as i have no close family around to help out and even the ones far away would be unlikely to be supportive of this decision.

i feel like i have three options 1. settle for one of the men i have met and who really want to pursue things with me. ive had feelings for these men dont get me wrong! but i dont feel wildly excited to see them and i am still quite ok alone. 2. have a baby another way. i earn around 62k and to be honest one of the key things that worries me is money. can i do it alone? how can i face appointments alone? it all seems so sad. 3. get pregnant and then my baby has a dad but i would do it in the knowledge that i would be completely responsible for the child and would have to assume the man may not be interested. if he is, it is a bonus. i know a few people this has happened to (not sure if it was intentional) but if it happened accidentally to me i would be so happy. what a mess this all is!! never thought i would be thinking these things.

i feel so broken tonight. any advice welcome.

*many people don't

'i earn around 62k and to be honest one of the key things that worries me is money. can i do it alone? '

@user63212 as other PP's have said, this is more than the average salaries of a couple, so financially you'll be more than fine. It also opens up avenues to you such as accessing egg freezing or IVF more easily than others, as you could choose to do so privately. I would look into those options rather than settle for some bloke you barely know.

I would look into those options rather than settle for some bloke you barely know.

But op.has time to get to know and build a relationship with one of the men she's dated, whom she said she has feelings for, before TTC.

Also egg freezing had its issues, I believe.

And IVF can be a painful, unpleasant, stressful, unreliable process; why subject yourself to it unless you absolutely can't avoid it.

*has its issues.

That's better than pushing 40 or over still looking for"the one", with massive pressure and almost certain fertility treatment (possibly not even with ops own eggs).

Sorry just to add to that the "almost certain fertility treatment" I mentioned refers to over 40, more likely the further past 40 you go.

Not pushing 40; where you should still.be ok but might take longer to get pregnant. (Of course all this varies by person a lot).

In fact from what I've read alongside anecdotal evidence, 42+ seems to be the drop off zone for a lot of women.

There are always outliers and exceptions, of course.

Whatever you do, don’t get pregnant by some randomer. Safer to conceive with donor speem, which is properly screened. And you don’t have any legal complications.

Meet man of my dreams at 36, had babies at 38 and 40.
You never know.