What do I do? Am I wrong?

[Skye55]

Hey guys, I’m really in need of some open minded advice. So here we go...

When I was 17 I met a guy who I fell in love with, at this time I had issues at home and would stay at his nearly every day. He told me he was 25, however I found out a couple of months later that he was in fact 35 (I saw his passport). I wanted to leave but he pleaded with me that he only lied because he thought I wouldn’t be interested in him (correct), and so I guess I just forgave him because I had strong feelings for him. However I’m now curious why he, as a grown man, would’ve been interested in someone so young.
Fast forward 5 years later, we have 3 children and I’m feeling resentful. I was never taught about contraception and didn’t really have a role model in my life to guide me as a teenager, I’ve tried to break up with him a few times because of the way we get along (our personalities are completely different) but I eventually give in because I can see how much he genuinely loves me.
As I get older I realize how young 17-18 actually is, and I feel that he chose me for his own benefit because I was naive and easy to manipulate. I can’t shake the feeling of what he’s done... but I know that at this present time he does actually love me. I don’t know what to do, please give me some advice I’d appreciate it. Thanks

Edit: I didn’t have a great relationship with my family and no one really discussed contraception with me. I was pretty much a runaway kid and so I was quite vulnerable. When I tried to break up with him after he lied, he claimed that other people were putting the idea of us breaking up in my head and wouldn’t leave me. So I just thought that was true and decided to stay. I hadn’t felt much love in my life and To be honest I feel a little resentment towards my family for not protecting or teaching me about relationships etc. I’d like to think I will bring my kids up with the knowledge they need about things like this. I put up a thread a couple of years ago, and everyone was basically saying it’s all my fault. I’d like anyone who is answering to be brutally honest with me but please take into consideration the age I was when we first met. Thanks

You say he loves you. Do you love him? Your posts don't give that impression. They intimate that you feel trapped.

It sounds very similar to my situation,I'm 22 now . I can't view your threads it won't allow me to :(

Thank you all do much for your inputs, I just don't think he genuinely knows how wrong it was. . he justifies everything he does and makes me seen as if my opinion is going wrong

He knows of course he does he is now a 40 year old man he is perfectly aware

Here we go, there's a 'home' country

Are you married to him now?
Is his home country outside of the EU and do you think is it possible that he wanted a British passport, and that marrying you would be a way to get it? (I'm assuming that you're British or from an EU country here).

Ok, my ex justified everything he did too, he was never wrong. Can you search for the book in PDF form "why does he do that?" It was instrumental in me finally believing that what he was doing was actually wrong, it may help you too! The one thing you need to do it to learn to believe yourself again, then can you make the decision best for you and your children.