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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What's going on with my supervisor?

3 replies

Blindspot82 · 14/12/2019 13:47

Really strange at the moment with my supervisor at work. He's 45, with three kids, not married but in a committed long-term relationship. He's a nice guy, quiet, unassuming and a straight-talker. We've known each other for about four years, he's been my supervisor roundabout the same length of time. We're able to joke with each other, and have an honest dialogue.

But recently, in the last year, he's said things that have made me wonder. I told him what my sister does for a living (she's got an interesting career in space technology) and he said "well, you got the looks then." I just thought he was being nice to be honest. Probably trying to pep me up a bit because I was feeling down about work. But then we went out for a colleague's leaving drinks last March, and it ended up all the others leaving and just me and him sat at the table. He was tipsy, and we were just chatting. Then he said "yeah, but every time I try and flirt with you...……..." and then stopped.

I don't recall him saying anything else suggestive that evening. But then, a couple of weeks ago, I said in conversation "because you're my supervisor and I have to talk to you...……." and he replied with "Yeah, not enough."

Then...……….two weeks ago, I asked him if he could cover a meeting for me and he was really evasive about my request, saying, "what's the meeting about? You haven't explained what it was about!!" Then, when I told him, he said "My God, that was like pulling teeth!" I lost my rag with him and stormed off, he followed me and tried to make amends but I told him to leave me alone. He then later sent me a message saying he had got me a little something for my son, as way of an apology. The next day, at work, he told me "you were angry, and you had a right to be." He gave me a dinosaur outfit for my eldest.

He asked me last Fri if I was going to the Christmas do (which was last night, I didn't end up going, I was too tired!)

What's going on with him? Is he just trying to have a little bit of a flirt? Some men like to do this, I'm sure it means nothing. It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable, but I'm not really sure what he's up to?

OP posts:
pog100 · 14/12/2019 14:23

I think you are right, he fancies you, wants to flirt but you, rightly, haven't responded. It's a pretty standard level of sleaze I think. You could tackle it face on, or just be even less receptive to anything not strictly work related.

LemonTT · 14/12/2019 14:23

Honestly if he liked you he would ask you out. Men do that, even if they are shy, have an elderly mother to care for or any other perceived barrier. Life is not like a romance novelist that respect. When we like someone we become infatuated idiots and it will out.

That he hasn’t asked you means he likes a bit of ego building flirting. Probably thinks it helps with the supervisor role.

OldEvilOwl · 14/12/2019 15:03

He's testing the water to see if your interested

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