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Original poster

AIBU for wanting to leave

13 replies

Satdrinkingmytea · 12/12/2019 22:14

I found out my 'd'p and father to our 1yr old dc had at the very least an emotional affair with a work colleague. The ow had sent me proof with some of their texts with him saying he wanted to chill with her alone at his flat and inviting her to dinner etc she doesnt however confirm or deny if anything actually happened. Issue I'm having is this all happened a couple of years ago.

When I confronted dp it, his response is, I'm sorry but it happened years ago, I was stressed in that job and needed someone to talk to. That he was about to leave and just needed to chat with someone about it. And best of all I just wasn't that serious back then but now I have you and DD. But he had me then, fucker.

Anyway am I being unreasonable for wanting to leave him for something that happened years ago? Also I did catch him sexting another woman couple of years ago. Looking at these texts this would have been before the ow I found out about.

OP posts:
Original poster
Satdrinkingmytea · 12/12/2019 22:45

Bump

OP posts:
justilou1 · 12/12/2019 22:47

If you’ve caught him out before with someone else, it sounds rather like a habit of his... I’d be sneaking onto his phone when he wasn’t aware. (No prior knowledge so he can delete stuff)

Original poster
Satdrinkingmytea · 12/12/2019 23:09

I can't get into his phone though, finger print and password access.

OP posts:
justilou1 · 12/12/2019 23:12

Get him drunk, wait until he falls asleep and do the fingerprint thing.

Monty27 · 13/12/2019 01:15

Why now?

SugarThreat · 13/12/2019 01:29

You're not being unreasonable. It doesn't really matter when it happened - it happened, he did it, that's the kind of person he is. Now you know and can act/react accordingly.

purplelemonorange · 13/12/2019 05:26

Get rid of him.

Original poster
Satdrinkingmytea · 13/12/2019 08:40

@Monty27, I don't know why she has decided to send these to me now. He left the company a couple of months after the messages were sent. P said she is now married.

OP posts:
CruellaDeVille2019 · 13/12/2019 08:44

He sounds as trustworthy as a thief in a jewellers shop. You don't have to have any specific reason to leave. The fact that you can't trust him because of his past behaviour is more than enough if you want to leave.

Aussiebean · 13/12/2019 09:16

You can leave any relationship, when you want to and for any reason you choose.

Original poster
Satdrinkingmytea · 13/12/2019 11:49

I need to remember that, when I've told him it's over he tries saying I can trust him now and we should work. Through this, easy for him to say.

Even though I don't need a reason and I know that some part of me obviously feels like I do.

OP posts:
MyOwnSummer · 13/12/2019 12:05

If you wanted to save the relationship, maybe counselling would be a good idea to see if trust can be rebuilt. If you don't want to save it, you don't need any other reason than you deserve better than this crap.

I seriously question why this woman is contacting you now if it was all over two years ago. What could her motive be to contact you now, if it was all over then and he moved to a new job?

Truthfully, it sounds like your mind is made up - and with good reason.

Aussiebean · 13/12/2019 12:12

If you need a reason tell him you chose to have a child with a loving and faithful man.

Now that you find out that he is neither, you are leaving.

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