Listen & learn young ladies. I’m a really private person, but am shell shocked atm. My partner of 5 yrs told me 3 mths ago (when pressed) that no, he didn’t want to marry as he’d been there before & failed. Him 59, me 49, never married. This after him leading me to believe he wanted to. Okay, fine.
Not happy, but spent the next 8 weeks in my remote job location getting my head around it & making plans for myself. EG: Switched from casual to permanent fifo, planning on packing my stuff for storage & selling my car. As being out there requires very little & will spend my 9 wks annual leave a year & flight allowances on travelling, visiting mates, whatever.
I came home 3 weeks ago & he proceeds to tell me how he thinks he’s been selfish, as clearly being married means more to me than him not marrying, & given he loves me & wants to spend the rest of his life with me anyway, he will do it. Awww I hear you say, how sweet. Yep, me too ladies, I swallowed it hook, line & sinker. Sooo, was waiting for a proposal. Today he says, well let’s go down to this jewellery store to get you an Xmas present. I said, no I’m fine I don’t need a trinket for Xmas. (As last year I nearly threw the cheap locket at him) as I’d been hoping for a ring. (When I say cheap, think something you would give to a 10 yr old). “Well, I’m going to go anyway, wouldn’t you rather it something you choose rather than being disappointed? & we’ll go for lunch first”.
Well I’m ashamed to say after all I’ve been through in my life, I was like an excited puppy thinking this is it. We get to the store & he says “would you like a watch?”. I said no thanks & walked out before anyone could see the tears welling. This man, who knows the hell myself & my children have been through at the hands of my alcoholic ex (who drank himself to death). Who knows I stayed single for 12 yrs because I didn’t even trust my own judgement as far as men were concerned, so refused to have anyone around my children. Who knows this is a hill I will die on due to my insecurities ( If I’m not good enough to marry I’ll walk). Has just figuratively kicked me in the guts. I am astonished that he is in fact a cruel bastard.
I’m lucky, my children are grown, I have a good job to go to, but young ladies, listen to your gut & don’t let them waste years of your life. My gut told me 4 yrs ago something wasn’t quite right, but every time I wanted to break it off, this tosser reeled me back in. I thought the world of him because he wasn’t abusive. Keep your standards high girls 💕