For everyone who's currently in an abusive relationship or struggling to recover from one I thought I'd share my story as it has a happy ending and it would have helped me no end to know when I was struggling through the relationship/fall out from it that there was hope at the end!
I was in an abusive relationship for over 7 years from 17 years old, he abused me physically, emotionally, sexually and mentally (not too many details here as that's not the focus!). I lost my friends (not allowed to see them), my family (same), my freedom (locked in the house except for work) and my self worth (constant abuse does that to you!). At my lowest I believed I had nothing to live for, I was scared in my own home and constantly subjected to physical assaults. Finally I decided to leave and with the help of the Police (who were incredible) I made it out of the house and back to my parents. I thought the worst was over but then I lost my house and had to live permanently with my parents (ex bought my 'share' for almost nothing), my pets (ex took them) and had 0 confidence to leave the house.
Counselling and some years later and I just wanted to say there is hope! I saved like mad and managed to move out again, reconnected with my friends and family who were incredibly supportive once they understood and made some amazing new friends now I have the freedom to decide when to see them. I have new hobbies and developed my self confidence so I can now make decisions for myself (when I left I wasn't even able to decide what I wanted for dinner) and I'm weeks from marrying the most incredible, gentle man I've ever met. I've discovered I am worth so much more than being someone's punching bag, other people did want me (ex said they wouldn't), I am someone who people want to be around and more importantly I value myself and am happy with the person I'm becoming! I recognise myself now when I look in the mirror instead of seeing a pale shell of a person who just agreed with abuser to keep the peace. I feel safe in my own home and supported by my DH-to be and I have the confidence to voice my opinions and make my own decisions. My life isn't perfect but it's unrecognisable from the years I spent worrying constantly about the mood the abuser would walk in the house in or how to cook dinner right so he wouldn't hurt me.
So to anyone out there in an abusive relationship or dealing with the fall-out from leaving I just wanted to post this and say there is hope, it DOES get better (just takes time is all) and you're always worth so much more than your abuser wants you to believe! 