How do I detach from DH?

[noneedtoberudedear]

DH moved out a week ago. We have 15 month old twins and it’s all happened that fast that my head is spinning.

How do I detach from him? I’ve only seen him twice in the last week and both times we’ve just ended up shouting and me crying. I have good days and bad days, but today I just feel so hopeless and tearful.

I shouldn’t care but he’s just changed his profile pic on Facebook of us and the babies and it hurts so much. His polling station is two minutes walk from my house but he hasn’t asked if he can come round and see the babies.

I don’t want to end up bitter. I need some suggestions for coping mechanisms from those of you who’ve (unfortunately) been here as well.

I’m really sorry that you are going through this with small babies. Have a look at the Some Friendly Words Thread - Part 2 started by ASmall BixOfChocolateBunnies.

Thank you @SuperbMonkey I’ll check it out

Hi there, sorry this has happened to you, tough times. If you dont mind me asking how old are you and do you have any family support?
I had a breakup about 10 years ago (my kids were a bit older than yours) but it was hard.
Somehow I started following a relationship councillor called Renee Wade online and her advice and the advice of other experts she has that sometimes do video presentations really helped me with my own issues. We're really not taught how to relate to men and often operate on modelling from our own parents which is often flawed.
I learnt a lot and have got better at asking for what I want and communicating properly.

I remember your previous thread @noneedtoberudedear I hope you are OK and he is not just waltzing in and out of the house playing Disney dad. Ha he followed up on his mh care yet, has any decision being made of what is best/safest with regards him seeing the DC?

I remember your previous thread too. You can't make him care about you and the DC. Regard yourself as lone parent, if he IS walzing in and out at will you need to set boundaries. Why are you arguing when he does see them? What are the arguments about?

@Standstrong I’m 40. No spring chicken and old enough to look after myself. I’m sure I will be find in the long run, just struggling at the moment.

@ChuckleBuckles The psychosis team have taken him on for six months, but he hasn’t had his first appointment yet. To be honest we’ve not really managed to work out much regarding the D.C. I’m struggling to be civil to him and I know it needs to stop. He’s only seen them twice since he left. Having him in the house just makes me so angry.

@MarinaMoatedGrange I’m arguing with him because I’m so hurt and upset. He just keeps acting like a shit. He took most of his wage out of our joint account a few days ago and didn’t leave us enough to live on. He said he could give us more money but that it was for the babies and not me! I’ve spent SO much money on him over the years and when he says things like that to me I can’t help but react. I know I need to and I feel so out of control not been able to keep a handle on my emotions.