Looking for opinions relationship

[Graduation2020]

Hello this is my first time on here and I am looking for anybody’s opinion. So my husband plays golf every Sunday and I am happy for him to do so. In October I asked him for our anniversary (december) if he would be intrested in going to the ballet but it would be on the Sunday. He agreed and it was planned. Then two weeks before our anniversary he said that he wanted to go away for a lads golfing weekend but it fell on the date of our anniversary ballet date. I said to him if you want to go then go as I would never stop him from doing what he wants. The weekend comes and he goes away and his phone was off the entire time. When he gets home he apologises and said the battery died and then he lost it in a bar but managed to get it back from the bar Monday morning. I feel really hurt by his actions and he didn’t even get me a card. I was really upset when he come home and he says I am being unreasonable to be upset when I agreed he could go. But as much as that hurt me that he went, it was the not being able to contact him that triggered me to be angry. So my question is am I being unreasonable for being upset? Any answers would be gratefully received.

I'd get this moved to relationships OP ... you'll have better responses

Thank you for your response. I have never done anything like this before so I am not very clued up on how to do things thank you I will look to move my message

Have you told him why you were angry at him?
Is he always an inconsiderate arse?

Are you thinking that something else happened on that weekend?

I think it was very selfish of him. You had agreed in advance to do something special then he overrides your plans and feelings with plans of his own for a weekend away without you. Then is uncontactable whilst away but conveniently gets phone back for his return. Have you told him how you feel ? Do you have children?

No way should he have fucked off to play golf on your anniversary. I'd have seen that as a test (ie what was more important, you or golf) clearly golf means more to him.

I'd make plans to do my own thing completely and not even bother with this selfish twat.

Yep, he sounds selfish and uncaring. Does what he wants often come first last and in the middle. I’d have been upset and hurt.

He went away for a whole weekend and had his phone turned off? Are you sure he was playing golf?

He's lying

What the fuck. Do you want to be with someone so selfish???

He doesn't think much of you does he

I think it's very thoughtless and selfish to go away instead of honouring the original plan to go to the ballet with you. If this is a one-off and out of character, I would forgive him and let it go (after you've explained again the reasons you're pissed off and that you were worried). However, I'm sorry to say that I find the phone thing suspicious. That battery being flat and phone getting lost then luckily being found sounds like a lie to me. Could he have been avoiding contact from you because he knew you were annoyed and therefore might 'ruin his little holiday's (bloody diddums) or could it be something more suspicious than that?

On the face of it, if the selfishness is out of character I'd let this one go. But I'd be digging deeper to check he did go away with the golfers.

I would check he was away playing golf with his buddies first of all.

OP I'd get this removed as your other post has obviously escalated a lot since this post

My instinct is to say he is lying about the phone. We are all pretty bonded to our phones. We would get it charged and hunt it down.

But it depends on the timing. Was it a few hours on Sunday night or the whole weekend.

Anyway poor behaviour. I assume there is more to it.

She's divorcing him

Hi, the OP posted two threads in error. We're going to close this one now as it's dropped right out of Active Conversations, but here's the link to the OP's other thread - Am I being unreasonable