Was I flirting?

[followthefairytalexx]

Please excuse my ignorance, I am 22 and I went to an all girls school and have led quite a sheltered life so I don't really know what flirting is unless someone is very explicit and over the top.

I'm on a university course with men now and I get along with them well. The thing is I don't really know what flirting is. We are all young adults. One guy keeps kicking me under the table and we make fun of eachother all of the time and laugh. There is another guy and I joked that I didn't want to sit with him and that other people wouldn't want to go near him and he said the same and I said 'oh but I thought we were best friends' and we joked. That's just regular teasing amongst friends isn't it? I really don't know what's classed as 'banter' and teasing or flirting.

My DDs are in a co-ed school precisely so they can be comfortable interacting with boys. And they are. But it’s good you have the chance now and are embracing it! Depending on the circumstances, banter can be flirtatious - it’s a way of telling the other person you have noticed them and want them to notice you. The kicking under the table would bug me a bit. Sounds like he wants your attention but it’s a bit rough really. But until you’re more sure of yourself, you might want to concentrate on just seeing them as friends. Some friends of mine who went through single sex education before uni said that it took them a long time to stop viewing all young men as potential boyfriend material because they hadn’t had the experience of having boys as friends. You may well be better off practising having boys as friends first - that way you will get better at understanding dynamics and reading signals and will be better placed to tell whether someone is potential boyfriend material - you’ll be more discerning.

It sounds pretty flirtatious to me, but kind of depends on tone of voice, body language etc.

Flirting is just friendly banter with some intention behind it so unless that intentio is made clear it can be very tricky to know for sure. You'll know your intention, so you should know if you are flirting. What you won't know is whether your banter is being perceived as flirting.

Kicking under the table should have ended around year 5. Did he go to a boys' school?

Balance your joking and flirting with an equal amount of concern for your own security. Men can take 'absolutely no encouragement at all' to be a massive come-on.