My DH died in June, he was 52 - very suddenly. I’m going through paperwork and have come across a letter from an affair partner. He stopped the affair 2 years ago. Just stopped no contact, blocked phone. She wrote a year later to him saying she deserved a better closure and also that he has said he loved her. but itwent on for 9 years - God 9 years, nearly 10. He did have an affair that I knew about during the last 3 years of our marriage, for 8 months . We worked really hard to recover and became really close and loving, though I struggled emotionally obviously, turns out during our recovery he was still sleeping with this long term affair partner for a few months until he called a halt and fully committed to our marriage. This has just flawed me. I’m grieving for the man I thought he was, a marriage that was immensely rocky at times but had reignited and our future that we talked about. I have two 13 year old girls.