I started seeing someone 4 weeks ago. He is a friend of friends. We had seen each other out and chatted a couple of times previously but nothing more.
I have been single for a while; I don't 'date' and I wasn't looking to meet someone so it was a nice surprise. He has had a couple of flings but nothing serious since his LTR ended a few years ago. He doesn't 'date' either.
I met him on the Friday. He asked of he could take me out over the weekend so we met for lunch on the Sunday and have been on around 9 or 10 dates since. Some of these have been evenings/days out and a couple were overnight where we spent from the middle of the afternoon to the following evening together. No expectation of sex although it has happened. He's quite happy for us to go out with no mention of it or to stay in where it happens but without pressure. We only message to arrange/confirm dates/plans - so no lovebombong or intrusive messages. It's nice. And also messaging would he unnecessary because we see each other every 2-4 days anyway.
We went out at the weekend with a group of mutual friends - we arrived and left together and spent most of the evening together although we both spent time talking to others.
He is lovely and I really like him. Trying really hard not to catch feelings mind! But he is so sweet. He cooks for me; looks after me when we're together; runs me baths...
I'm mid 40s, he is early 50s. Apparently, I am supposed to have a conversation with him at some point to establish the nature of our relationship although I'm told we need to have been dating for around 3 months by this point.
If I'm perfectly honest, I find the idea of spending time and having sex with someone for 3 months before you/they decide if it's a 'relationship' or not to be pretty unpalatable. I'm not 20. I dont have all the time in the world and my time is precious. Neither do I feel that I want to be in a 3 month job interview where I'm permanently auditioning for the role of 'girlfriend' and, I suspect, he would feel similarly.
We are already assuming we will see each other again rather than asking of the other would like to go out next week. And we have made a few loose plans for things we will do over the next month.
I'm seeing him tomorrow and, tbh, I kind of want to know how he sees this; what he thinks of me... I'm ok with him being undecided but someone said to me at the weekend, "oh, so you and X are an item now? Nice one. That's lovely" and I didn't know how to respond! I guess I'd just like to know where I stand. But equally don't want to look am idiot for asking!
Any advice?