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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Heartbroken to sell family home and scared to tell kids

7 replies

3gingerboys · 10/12/2019 17:14

Hi all and thanks for listening.

Separating from husband after years of ea and lies which he fully accepts. Completely lost trust in him and his behaviour has killed any feelings I had for him. Told him last December it was over and have given him time to get used to it, we have three ds age 14, 11 and 6. The eldest knows we are separating but the younger two don't. Have been living together as he refuses to accept it's over, separate rooms etc but it's now becoming unbearable. Have continued as desperate to keep the kids in their home and he agreed I could buy him out. He's now gone back on that and said he's going to make things as difficult as possible. I cant cope with another year like this and have decided I have no option but to sell the house and move with the kids. He cannot afford to buy me out and I am the primary care giver. Absolutely gutted as my eldest has already said he wants to stay in the home and it's going to be so disruptive for the kids, but he says he doesn't care, if we aren't living in the house as a family we all have to move out. Am going to view two properties and if they are suitable an going to have to tell kids and put our house on the market. Need to resolve things but hate hurting the kids. Any tips? X

OP posts:
itsmecathycomehome · 10/12/2019 17:37

Have you had legal advice?

He may have no choice about leaving you in the family home.

LemonTT · 10/12/2019 17:42

Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately you can’t really sell the house without his agreement. Even if it is in your name he can register an interest and block it.

You will have to go about properly and see a solicitor. They can get the ball rolling. This should make him wake up and accept the reality that you are serious.

TheFormidableMrsC · 10/12/2019 17:45

You need legal advice, please do that before you do anything else.

NeverTwerkNaked · 10/12/2019 17:50

Why aren't you getting legal advice? He doesn't have the power he thinks he does

3gingerboys · 10/12/2019 18:22

Hi all I've had advice and as we are joint tenants he does not have to leave the property and the only way I could get the property signed over to me is if I go to court and get an order which will take another 6 months to a year. He's not abusive but things are really simmering at home and I worry that it could end up with all-out warfare. I think he will agree to sell the property as his main motivation seems to be that he doesn't want to be the bad guy and move out he wants me to be the one to tell the kids and so he can say it's all my decision. I've got an estate agent coming round tomorrow to take photos of the property and arrange for it to go on the market. seen a house tonight which is smaller than I have currently but think it could work well with a bit of extra TLC. Just can't live like this anymore longer ☹️

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 11/12/2019 00:23

You’ve been incredibly patient already, for far, too patient! Enough now. Set things moving.

plumbabe · 11/12/2019 00:38

The kids will get used to a new house. It’s better than living with that tension! Get it done. You’ll get your happiness and peace of mind back which will benefit the kids

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