Please help, advice needed before complete breakdown

[Flick9670]

Hi all, I am in a relationship with an amazing man, 6 years together, I have a DS from prev he has DD and we have a toddler DS together. For the first 3 years we had an awful time with his ex, dragged through court, paid a fortune to get a court order in place (she kept stopping access) this destroyed him and his family and all hate was directed at her. During this time we all got on amazingly and came together and worked through it all. Flash forward a year and for the last 2 years or so they have slowly become best friends with the ex, going on holidays, nights out, girls pamper days etc etc.... we obv cant tell them who to be friends with but it has now meant we very rarely see them. So we arranged to spend xmas with them, my partner checked his ex wasnt going to be there and his mum PROMISED she wasnt in vited, we found out at the weekend while they were on another girls weekend away that she is infact going to his parents for xmas. This has broken my partner heart, he has cut all ties with his mum, sister, sisters partner. The only person he will speak to is his dad, I dont know what to do or how to fix this, if it is fixable. We have heard nothing from his mum, cant believe that they have chosen the ex over their own son and grand son aand nephew! What would you do in this situation?

I don't think there is much you can do.
They have chosen her.
All you can really do is be there for your DP.

Have a nice family Christmas, just you together with your DC.
It must be so heartbreaking for him.
Could he get some therapy to talk this out with someone?

I would just focus on having a lovely Xmas day at home with my partner and kids. No need to go elsewhere for Xmas dinner. I can see why your upset but she can invite who she wants to her house for dinner

Since it's ex and his family, I think you have to step back and let him decide for himself what actions to take.

As regards this xmas, I'd say to him "We'll do our own thing - we can have a lovely relaxed day at home, take the DC out for a walk, bike ride or to church, cook exactly what we like to eat (aka no brussels sprouts/broccoli/cabbage and a dessert everyone likes). We can watch what we want on TV and we can both have a glass of wine with dinner because we don't have to drive home."

Out of interest, do you think ex "invited herself" because she knew you and DP would be there? Is your DPs mum a bit of a doormat, or is she a backstabber?

His mum is a door mat, his sister and partner are back stabbers, and the ex is a pyscho! She was there last year too which we didnt find out until on the day, but this year we arranged with them and sai d as long as it was family and she wasnt invited which they promised, but then we found out that his mum had invited her and thats that, I just feel for him and my son as now they miss out, it just makes me sick to my stomach with all of it and so tired!