Have I done the right thing ?

[Flowerpowerr1]

Ok so I’ve posted about my story a while back on here some of you maybe remember ..
I’ve recently divorced my exH and we’ve got a 9 month old son together. We separated when I was 8 months pregnant due to me unexpectedly finding some news.

So basically I found out that he’d been using a website called “4chan” never heard of it before to get random men to ejaculate over images of my sister then he was sending this to her through social media but he was using fake accounts she never knew who this person was he would send the picture to her and write “beautiful 😍” I’m not sure if this was done as an insult or if he really fancied her? He’d done it several times since 2017 couple months after our wedding!!
So this time last year when I was pregnant he’d been sending her more aggressive messages, more images, videos and also messages blackmailing her to send a nude or he would show all her followers on her social media some images he apparently had of her.. he must of taken an image my sister had sent to me years ago showing her abdomen when she had lost weight so he was just using the photo against her..
so my sister in the end cried and got so scared she rang the police to find out who this person was who kept harassing her.
So I messaged my exH and told him the whole story he said don’t worry no need to go the police I will sort it out.. so he “somehow” find this fake account and sends them a message telling them to leave my sister alone, he then gets a reply straight away saying sorry we just fancied her and wanted nudes.. this was him writing back of course! Weirdo!!
So then he confessed to my sister and said it was him all along.. my sister was SHOCKED!! He said after seeing a picture of her like that on my phone he couldn’t help but fancy her ??! Wtf!
So I never found any of this out till February 2019.
I left instantly when I found out my mum told me because she couldn’t hold the secret any longer!
I couldn’t believe it, I was confused and had never felt more insecure in my life. I didn’t know what to do at that point being heavily pregnant too.
When I asked him why he did that he said he just told her that he fancied her so she wouldn’t go to police he said he hated her really that’s why he did it... now this is what doesn’t make sense I know it’s not right still but would someone do that from hate or if they really fancied her??
I’ve legally divorced him now and I’m happily living with my family but I still wonder if I’ve done the right thing.

What a fucking weirdo your Ex H was.
You definitely did the right thing divorcing him.
What a messed up fucker he is.

I would like to say go NC with him, but you have a child together so you still have to deal with him.

You may need some counselling after this as he was abusive to you and your sister.

You definitely did the right thing getting rid of him.

God, what a creepy wierdo. I wouldn't want him within half a mile of me, and certainly not in my bed! Yes, of course you've done the right thing. Yuk.

You've absolutely done the right thing. That's horrifying.

Thank you for your replies! I agree I’ve done the right thing I could never look at him the same I just can’t believe who I was married to it’s crazy how I was so deceived, it’s a shame we have a child together because that means I can’t completely cut him off!
I have a lot of family members telling me I should give him another chance for our son but I tell them no I can’t! there’s stuff you can forgive and then there’s stuff that’s like WTF?! I truly believe he has some sort of issues because what he did is not only perverted but it’s sick and weird.
I pray my son will be nothing like him!!

Tell them to get bent and ask if they fancy living with a pervert?!

What an evil perv! Can't your sister not press charges against him? That would probably influence any custody battle...get away from that man, and if possible your child too. This guy has definitely mental problems that are not average, i don't understand why family members would suggest to give him a second chance? Do they not know the ejaculating part of the story??

We’ve already pressed charges on him and wrote a big statement, the police didn’t seem too bothered they said they would just interview him and if they think it’s serious then it would get taken to court but that didn’t happen.

They do know but they’re just expecting me to forget it for my child which I can’t! I don’t think anyone could?!
It was a shock to everyone because he looked like a really nice guy and everyone liked him, but he was very quiet, he always had this weird hidden side to his personality, he was also addicted to escorts I think he used them all throughout his early 20’s and probably still is now because he hasn’t got the courage to find a real girlfriend!
There was so many red flags that ignored which I shouldn’t have

As for why he did it, who knows? It’s just too creepy and weird to analyse. He sounds as if he could be dangerous.

How awful for you and no, I don’t see how you could be with him after that.

Your family definitely have a weird view of boundaries, if they know all of what he has done to you and your sister and they still want you back with him.
That is very bad advice, imo.

Don’t go back to him.

Makesure you look out for red flags in your next relationship and have solid boundaries.

Personally I would only let him have access to your son if someone is watching over him.

He is not wired properly and that makes him dangerous.

You have done the right thing! How weird!

Weird. Freak. Shit. Perv. Messed up. Fucker. He sounds dangerous.

I wouldn’t want my son to grow up in an environment where a man treats women like that, I don’t ever want him to that’s ok. He is messed in the head.
At the moment he sees his DS once a week and I stay with my DS because I don’t trust him, so unfortunately I still have to see his face.
I don’t know how it would be when my DS gets older? I really don’t want to have to see him every week but then I don’t him to be left alone with him.

This has to be one of the weirdest behaviours I've read about on Mumsnet. What an absolute weirdo! He seriously needs to get some psychiatric help.