Am I the only one?

[relentlesslyred]

Feel like I am the only one without any family... I have siblings but they are nc with me. It's not bothered me for ten years because a lot of stuff went on but I feel like letting go of that negativity now and forgiving and forgetting. I offered an olive branch to both siblings and there was literally no response. I know they received my message. I just feel such sadness for what could have been. I feel like every person has some sort of family behind them. I can't afford to sink into a depression but I'm just paralysed by this because I would have loved for all our families to have integrated and we all got on as youngsters. Help me to get some perspective!!!

Hi Relentless, you are not the only one. My family consists of literally me, my DD and an aunt who is not related to me by blood. However, I wouldn't want to get in touch with my mother and siblings now because of my highly dysfunctional and toxic family dynamic.

However that doesn't stop me feeling a bit nostalgic and wistful this time of year. All that bloody Christmassy fantasy that's bandied from October onwards. You got unlucky in the family draw as did I. I deal with it by making the most of my friends and cherishing them as family. I have also inherited my partner's family who seem lovely and have said they want to adopt me so I can't be the awful person my family make me out to be!

I think dwelling on what you don't 'have' will bring you down emotionally/mentally. I have found therapy and meditation an enormous help. Are you able to work through your 'need' to reconnect with a therapist? Of a friend that can just listen and not judge?

Please don't open up old wounds by contacting your family at this stage. I have done that before. It doesn't work. Nothing changes and, like my family, they haven't been too fussed so far. And yes, get off social media. It feels like a party you haven't been invited to, FOMO, but the reality is likely to be very different.

You are right , contacting them will just open fresh wounds .. I need to focus on my family unit and try to get this 'fantasy family' out my head .